Over the last year I’ve been struggling with finding purpose. It’s something I pray about daily. I have a variety of passions, gifts and experiences. But I also have many hindrances.

I have an electrical engineering degree. I love math. I love playing soccer and being active. I’m passionate about food and health. I love to cook, bake and decorate cakes. I like to make things from scratch, sew and be creative. I’m blessed to be a mother and wife. I’m interested in mental health and how the brain and body work.

I’ve dealt with anxiety, OCD, infertility, IVF, digestive problems, tests, treatments, surgeries.

My day is largely dictated by my anxiety, OCD and digestive problems. Which makes it hard to do all the things I want to do. I’m very introverted and have a hard time meeting people and making friends. I tend to just stay home and stick to my daily routine instead of pushing myself and getting out.

I have two small children that keep me busier than I sometimes think is possible. And they leave me with little time to do much besides just take care of them.

What do I do with all of that?

I give it to God and let him lead the way. In fact I think He answered my question before I ever asked it.

I’ve been blogging for four years now (me, the person that NEVER dreamed of writing). My blog is called Homemade Dutch Apple Pie. If you look just below the title, though, you’ll see a few key words that sum it up – Faith, Family, Food. I’ve had direction all along. I just didn’t have the details.

No matter what issues I write about or deal with my faith is first. The purpose of any Christian is to spread God’s Word and share his love.

Next is my family. My kids are little. They take up most of my time. And that’s fine. They are my priority. If I have to put other things on hold for a bit (like delaying a post because of an early riser or waiting a few years before seriously thinking about cake decorating) that’s ok. There is a time for everything. Right now I need to enjoy my kids while they are young and while they are still home with me all the time. I also need to give my husband plenty of my attention and energy.

Finally we get to the food. God has given me a passion for Real food and health. After years of struggling with my physical and mental health and my own hang ups about food, I now love to tell others about true health and nourishment. Sometimes I think God has to use a megaphone to get through to me/for me to listen. This year I was contacted by the editor of Real Food and Health magazine about becoming a contributor. Hello, Mary…are you there? Do I have to spell it out for you? 😛  I was also asked to contribute to Grand Rapids Natural Living. Then I was invited to join the West Michigan Bloggers. And I was accepted as a member of the Village Green Network (a social media network of real food bloggers).

The funny thing about VGN is that I applied for it. Then I didn’t hear anything for a while and assumed I hadn’t been accepted. A few months later I got an email asking where I was. They were wondering what happened and why I hadn’t responded to them. I think an email got lost somewhere. But regardless they were seeking me out and hoping I would join.

So this whole year while I was wondering what on earth I’m supposed to be doing God was opening doors and providing more and more opportunities for me to share my passion for food and health. More ways to share my story and my experiences.

God was giving me a purpose and making it clear…even if I didn’t see it at the time. It’s amazing how we can be so blind to the things God is showing us. Reminds me that I need to take more time to listen and watch when I ask God for things.

So, here it is. I have a purpose.

I am a writer.

My plan (God’s plan) for now is to pursue writing opportunities. To use my blog and other media to share my story. To share my experiences. To hopefully help others and keep them from making some of the mistakes I’ve made.

I want to share my passions. I want to make my blog and my writing my business. I want to share my faith and God’s love with others.

I have made a lot of progress in my healing journey over the last 10 years. But I still have a lot of challenges. I still have a lot to learn. I still have a lot to share. I still have a purpose.

In the coming year…and hopefully years to come…I want to continue to share my journey through personal healing, through marriage, through motherhood.

I’m not sure about all of the details, but I know God will work it out. I might update the look of my blog (in time). I have a feeling I’ll be sharing some of our journey of treatment with Rebecca when the time is right/when we have more answers. I will hopefully have more to share about my own health and struggles with anxiety and OCD. Mental health is such a mystery.

I might do giveaways. I might start a newsletter. I might get more involved with social media.

For now all I know is that God has given me a purpose and a plan. I don’t know how all of my passions will play a part in this. And maybe some of them won’t. I do know that God has a reason for all of them and a reason for making me the way I am.

I’m not JUST a stay at home mom. I’m not defined by my health problems. I’m not just getting by.

I am Mary. I am a child of God. I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a writer. I have purpose.

This post is linked to Fresh Bites Friday.