The world of feeding challenges is vast. Picky eating. Refusal to eat at all. Oral sensory issues. Food anxiety. The list goes on. But I’ve got you covered. I’m here to help you navigate all of it and keep your child well nourished. Feeding children doesn’t have to be so stressful!
I have over ten years of experience feeding children well. I’ve dealt with just about every struggle possible. And I’ve come out the other side with healthy kids.
Our days of constant tummy aches, food allergies, failure to gain weight, picky eating and gagging on food are over.
I want the same for you! Feeding children should not be stressful. It should be a joy. And it can be. I’ll show you how.
My book Why Won’t My Child Eat?! will walk you through the process of figuring out specific problem foods and how to gradually get your child to eat more.
The blog is full of advice and tips on feeding children as well. Don’t struggle alone. I’m here to help!
If you’ve been a reader here very long you know that I’ve tried just about every “diet” possible. I went from the Standard American Diet (SAD) to real food. I’ve been low fat, high fat, low carb, high carb, grain free, gluten free, nut free, dairy free, egg free…just about everything you can think of.
It took a lot of trial and error, but I finally realized that I don’t have to follow any prescribed diets. I need to eat in a way that keeps my body nourished and makes me feel good. What that entails is a little different for everyone.
I am still a firm believer in eating a real food diet with lots of traditional foods. We also have food allergies in our house that we have to take into account. Those two factors combined give us a guide for how we eat.
Going on this long journey of figuring out how to eat created quite an obsession with food. There have been times that I couldn’t think about much else. I would get so stressed about choosing the “right” food that it didn’t even matter what I was actually eating because the anxiety outweighed any benefits of whatever I chose.
I used to hate eating with other people because I felt so isolated by food restrictions.
Now I have to watch my kids say no to things a lot. When they are offered some sort of “treat” it is tough to say no. It’s hard to feel different or left out. I get anxiety trying to make the right choices for my kids and know when to stick to my “rules” and when to just let it go.
There is a lot of emotion tied to eating, especially when it comes to community and events.
What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think about going to a baseball game? Eating a hot dog.
What is a fun summer treat? Ice cream from an ice cream stand or the ice cream truck.
Now with fall activities in full swing kids are bombarded with offers of treats and snacks wherever they go.
For some people it’s hard to enjoy events without the traditional food involved. It tugs at your emotions. You have fond memories of doing these things as a child. It’s part of the experience.
I’ve been there. I’ve felt it. I feel it every time my child gets invited to a birthday party or we go to someone’s house or we go to an event. But I have finally come to a place where I realize one thing:
It’s Just Food.
That’s all. Food.
Now I choose to focus my attention on the experience and relationships.
We have to bring food with us no matter where we go. But I have yet to see my kids go hungry or feel like they were unhappy or dissatisfied after eating. I love to see the contentment on their faces as they enjoy whatever they are given and run off to have fun without putting any thought into it.
When my family goes to a baseball game we either eat before we go or I bring most of our food. Do my kids care? Not at all. They simply want to have fun at the game. They don’t care if their hot dog came from home or from the concession stand. To be honest they don’t even care about eating much at all. They are fascinated by what’s going on around them. It’s harder for Mom and Dad to separate the experience from the food.
When my daughter goes to dance class she doesn’t need a sucker at the end to feel like she did a good job or to make her enjoyment of dance any different. It’s not about the food.
So, how do you get to this point? Here are a few tips:
Take the emotions out.
Relax – look at the big picture if you are feeling stressed about a situation and remember it’s just food. You probably won’t remember if you got to eat a piece of cake at a party. But you will remember how much fun you had with your family or friends.
Make new memories that don’t revolve around food. If you go to an amusement park, focus on the rides and excitement. If you go to a sporting event, focus on the game and the atmosphere. If you are going to church or school, focus on what you are learning and building friendships.
Keep it simple – enjoying an apple at the zoo is just as good as having an ice cream cone. Food doesn’t have to be complicated.
Set a good example for your children – if you don’t make a big deal about food, eating differently or restrictions your kids won’t think much of it either.
Food does not have to be the center of everything. Instead focus on what really matters. Take the stress out of eating. Simply eat what works for you, be thankful for it and enjoy it.
It does take work and thought to eat well. But beyond that remember that it’s just food. Relax. Enjoy what works for you. And enjoy life.
“Do you have a picky eater? Are meal times a battle? Before you get frustrated and assume your child is just strong-willed, take a closer look at what is really going on.
Yes, some kids truly do like to feel in control and may assert this behavior at meal times. In that case it is just a phase. But for many it is not a choice. There is a big difference.
Refusing to eat broccoli for a period of time is not a big deal. Being distracted one day by a new toy during lunch is no cause for concern. But if feeding your child is causing frustration at every single meal he or she may have oral sensitivities related to sensory processing disorder (SPD).”
Last year I shared my “secret” recipe for hot chocolate that I drink daily. It tastes great and keeps me going all day.
This past week we went from chilly to hot! Though now it’s back to chilly again. That’s Michigan for you.
As much as I love my hot chocolate, when I’m dripping with sweat from playing outside with the kids it just doesn’t sound that appealing.
So now it’s time for an iced version! When I tried it I was pleasantly surprised that the iced cocoa kept me just as hydrated as the hot version. It was also just as easy to drink without feeling like I had a belly full of liquid.
I don’t know the science behind it, but just a small amount of cocoa helps my body absorb liquids and stay hydrated. Cocoa is also full of minerals like potassium and magnesium. It even has quite a bit of iron and fiber.
I’ve talked before about the importance of not drinking tons of plain water throughout the day. It will actually flush the vitamins and minerals out of your body and leave you dehydrated…and feeling even thirstier! It will also lower your metabolism (you can read more about that in Eat for Heat and The Nourished Metabolism).
I stick to my mug of hot chocolate in the morning and now my mug of iced cocoa in the afternoon. My thirst is quenched for the whole day. As an added bonus I no longer have the overactive bladder I had from childhood on. I’m not running to the bathroom all day long.
Do you play sports? Skip the neon-colored sports drinks and fill your water bottle with iced cocoa.
My kids often ask me to make hot chocolate for them. But it’s tough to get it just the right temperature so that it’s still warm but not too hot. They are going to love this new treat.
If you’re looking for a delicious, refreshing and hydrating drink this summer try some iced cocoa. It only takes a few minutes to make and tastes great!
Hydrating Iced Cocoa
2014-05-12 06:11:06
Serves 1
A delicious, hydrating drink to keep you going all summer long.
Now that March is underway it is time to think about my 2014 goals! It only took 2 1/2 months. This year I’m focusing on simplifying life and getting back to the basics. I want to make room and time for people and relationships.
One thing that stood out as I was making my goals was that I didn’t even really think about food or diet in terms of my own health. That is a big sign of healing. I don’t have a special diet. I eat nutrient-rich food. I eat what my body likes/what makes me feel good. I eat enough to support my body and my baby. It’s nice to not have a laundry list of diet do’s and don’ts as part of my goals this year.
~~~~~~~~~~~2014 GOALS~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Get back to the basics with nutrition.
I first learned about real food about four years ago. I took the time to really understand what nutrition meant and how to feed my family. Over the years with my own health struggles, dietary restrictions for my kids (for allergies) and times of doing what you can just to get by (during things like miscarriage and early pregnancy) I have lost sight of that a little bit.
Sometimes I’m even amazed when I look back through my old posts. I posted a lot of good information! So it’s time to get back to the basics of nutrition. I never strayed too far. But I know I can do better with getting some of the junk out of our house. As I get my energy back I also hope to get my passion and drive back for making real, homemade food that is nourishing for my family.
This will include simple steps like adding egg yolks, coconut oil, gelatin and bone broth to foods whenever I can. I may also re-post some old articles to help myself get back on track.
I’m not going to be extreme. I know there has to be balance. I also know I’m human and can only do so much. But I’m also ready to put in the effort to make sure my family is nourished.
As part of this I may start re-reading Nourishing Traditions. It has such a wealth of knowledge.
Once I am feeling better I will also do a one week challenge with my kids to see how they do with absolutely no packaged food. They don’t eat much as it is. But over the last few months we’ve had to go with convenience sometimes because it was all I could manage. We need to break the habit and get back to real food.
This is not about restriction. This is not about a special diet. This does not mean we can’t enjoy other food when we are out or with friends. This is about sticking to real, nourishing foods the majority of the time and especially at home. It’s easy to lose sight of that in our culture. I want to be sure my kids know what true health means.
2. Simplify and de-clutter my house and my life.
One of the biggest sources of stress for our whole family is the clutter and mess in the house. With me being only able to do the minimum around the house for the last three months it has gotten even worse. It’s time to finally do something about it.
When I used to think about cleaning what came to mind was organizing and making things look neat. I didn’t care about dust bunnies in the corner or mold spots on the ceiling as long as things were in order.
But now that my daughter has been diagnosed with severe dust and mold allergies, cleaning has a whole new meaning. I’m starting to notice every little spec of dirt in our house. I’m realizing just how dirty it is!
So my cleaning goal is two-fold. I want to get things organized and get rid of things we don’t use/don’t need. I also want to do a thorough cleaning of the whole house. I want my daughter and my husband to be able to breathe better and feel better at home.
The cleaning will be better for our health. The neatness will make everyone happier. It will create more peace. There will also be a place for everything…which means clean up will be much easier.
This will also free up a lot of time (especially mine!). Instead of spending half of my day just trying to stay on top of the mess, I’ll have more time for my family and for doing other things. By bed time everyone will be much happier and calmer.
3. Make relationships a priority.
I probably want this or even write it as a goal every year. It is one of my biggest struggles. I am an introvert by nature (extreme introvert and painfully shy). So making friends is very difficult. Add to that severe OCD, feelings of isolation from infertility, anxiety…you get the picture. For most of my life I’ve just gone the easy route. I avoid deep friendships. I keep everything surface level. I don’t let anyone in. I try to hide all the things I don’t like about myself. But it’t not a good way to live. It’s also not a good example for my children.
I did have some very close friends when I was younger. But life changes as you get older. I’ve also had deep friendships that have caused a lot of hurt. After that it was hard to open up to anyone again.
Over the years I have realized that having close friends is one of the biggest things missing in my life. I have a wonderful husband and a great family (both my family and my in-laws). I am thankful for a couple friends that I keep in touch with regularly via email.
But this year I want to build lasting friendships. I want to put in the effort, let others into my life and drop my guard. It will not be easy. But I think it’s worth the effort.
In addition to making friends, I wan to make sure that my relationship with my husband is a priority. This is especially critical before baby #3 arrives. Since our children are almost six and three, now is a good time to go on dates and spend time together.
I also want to make sure my kids get plenty of attention before the baby comes. I will try to continue our monthly mommy/daughter dates. I will also try to do special things for my son. Finally we will make the most of our summer and do lots of fun things, like going to the beach, playgrounds, etc.
Life will be very different in September with a new baby and my big girl in school all day. So we are going to enjoy our family of four for the summer.
4. Work on myself.
This year I want to really think about how my actions impact my children (and others around me). I want to be a good example to my kids. This includes things like facing my fears, making friends and trusting God.
My daughter already struggles with anxiety, just like I did when I was little. I need to teach her how to handle anxiety and how to let it go. I have to do this through the way I handle my own anxiety.
I will have two big adjustments later this year. I will be adjusting to life with three children. I will also be adjusting to my daughter being in school all day. I plan to prepare myself mentally for these changes.
My yearly goals would not be complete without talking about my health. Thankfully this year there isn’t too much to think about. My main focus is to keep my thyroid levels and medication well-monitored, both during and after pregnancy.
I need to focus on eating enough quality food, getting moderate exercise and getting plenty of sleep. Yes, good health really is that simple.
Finally, I want to take more time to read. I don’t do it very often these days. But I have a lot of books that have been sitting on my desk for a long time. I also have a lot of Kindle books. So I am going to read more and watch TV less. I just got a few new books last week as an early birthday present. I’ve already finished one of them!
5. Focus on my writing.
My writing has taken a back seat for the last few months. After my miscarriage I lost my focus and energy. I had to really concentrate on my health. Then when I had bad morning sickness I simply could not sit at the computer to write.
Now that I’m starting to feel better I’m finally getting my desire to write back! It feels great. Although my kids don’t like to give me time to do it.
I switched my site from Blogger to WordPress earlier this year. But being so sick I didn’t have time to do anything else with it. I want to learn more about WP and update the look of my site.
I want to write about a variety of topics. I will still post recipes. I will also be writing about health issues.
I will continue to learn about photography and work on my skills.
I am also hoping to start doing some giveaways this year!
6. Word for the year – LOVE.
Last year I started focusing on a word for the year. It was acceptance. Last year was definitely a year of acceptance. It took a while to figure out a word for this year. But it turns out I didn’t really have to figure it out. During the first two months of this year God has bombarded me with the word LOVE.
My daily email devotions started in January with “40 Days of Love.” At church we did a series called “How’s It Growing” where we talked about spiritual disciplines…the final and most important being love.
For Valentine’s Day this year my daughter made all of her cards. We found a pack of cheap bracelets for her to use for the girls in her class. They each got two. At the end there were two bracelets left that I told her she could keep for herself. Instead she kept one and gave one to me in my card. Like a good mother I put it on…and it’s been on ever since! It’s just a little, plastic red bracelet. But it reminds me daily to love.
There have been plenty of other signs of love as well.
So this year I am focusing on love. I want to give love. I want to be loved.
I have been reminded constantly this year already about how much God loves me. It’s incomprehensible. But it is so comforting. Even when I’m worried or anxious or not so happy with myself…God still loves me unconditionally.
I want to show this same love to others. I want to show my husband and my kids unconditional love.
This year I hope to work hard to make life simpler and make room for building relationships and setting a good example to my children. It all comes down to simplify and love. I’m excited to see what God has in store for us this year.
Every time I think about writing what I learned in 2013 my mind goes in a million directions. I learned so much. I learned it all the hard way – through first hand experience.
I know I’m not alone. I know I’m not the only one struggling with these problems. So I want to share my journey with others in the hopes that someone else doesn’t have to go through the struggles like I did.
So here is my attempt at sharing some of these lessons. I hope to go into more detail on some of the topics in separate posts later. For now, here is some of what I learned in 2013 (and over the last ten years).
1. Eat enough food.
I fell into this trap for many years. And I see it in so many well-meaning sites and books. Time and time again it is suggested that women should eat 1200 – 1500 calories a day to loose weight and be healthy. This is far too little to sustain your health.
Unless you are on complete bedrest and can barely move your body most women should eat a minimum of 2,000 calories a day. You should consume even more than that if you are active and exercise. If you starve your body it will not function well. If you feed your body you’ll feel great. Combining enough quality food with moderate exercise is a great way to maintain your health in the long term.
2. Eat what works for your body.
Don’t follow a prescribed diet (GAPS, Paleo, low carb, etc.) just because someone else says it’s great.
This is another lesson I had to learn the (very) hard way. I’ve been on every diet you can think of to try to feel good. For me it was never about losing weight. I just wanted to feel good and heal my body. So I tried the IBS diet, low fat, high fiber, dairy free, egg free, wheat free, red meat free, grain free, GAPS, low carb,…I’ve tried them all.
Where did that get me? Feeling worse than when I started. Over the last 10 years I have learned to eat what works for my body. And that is what makes me feel good.
Just because your friend tried eating paleo and feels great doesn’t mean it’s the perfect diet for you. Just because someone says grains are evil doesn’t mean they don’t work for you.
I have read over and over about how things like potatoes, bananas and root vegetables are “safe” starches and much better for you than grains. I am living proof that this is not true for everyone. If I eat potatoes and bananas I will be in so much pain. But I MUST eat gluten free grains daily to feel good.
All this boils down to – don’t restrict your diet just because someone else says it’s good. Eat a variety of real food that makes you feel good and gives you the energy you need. Don’t cut foods (real food) out of your diet if they aren’t causing you problems. You won’t find your “perfect” diet in any book. You have to figure out what works for you.
3. Real food is great! But sometimes it can be beneficial to stray away from it.
I know this sounds contradictory to what my site is all about. But it’s true. I still firmly believe in fueling your body with healthy, homemade real food…most of the time.
But depending on the state of your health, there are times when you can benefit from some less than ideal foods. For someone that has been on a strict diet (like paleo or GAPS) and is underfed and unhealthy, processed foods can be a great jumpstart to getting back to full health. Processed foods are easy to digest (yes, frozen pizza is often easier to digest than a big plate of vegetables). It is also easy to quickly increase your calorie intake with processed foods.
I am not recommending this as a permanent solution to health by any means. But it can be beneficial if you are recovering from undereating or a condition called orthorexia. Once your body is not starving anymore you can go back to eating real, quality food. You just have to be sure to eat plenty of it.
Having bad morning sickness was a good way to break me of my orthorexia. I do love to fuel my body properly with quality food. But sometimes I can be too strict about it…and it fuels my OCD and anxiety. I had to just learn to eat whatever I could manage for the last couple months. I am really looking forward to getting back to eating mostly healthy food. My body is ready for it. But it was nice to have a break and just eat whatever I wanted. It was a great way to change my mindset and figure out how to find balance.
4. Don’t drink too much water.
One of the best things I did for my health in 2013 was to stop drinking so much water. There really is no science behind the 8 glasses a day rule. And if you really think about it, it doesn’t make sense to force yourself to drink water. If your body needs fluids it will let you know.
Drinking too much water is a great way to slow down your metabolism, lower your body temperature and feel cold all the time. It will also flush the vitamins and minerals out of your body.
5. Get plenty of sleep.
This sounds like common sense. But there are probably very few people that actually get enough sleep. For a healthy individual seven hours of uninterrupted sleep is the minimum needed. Most people need at last eight. And for someone that has been sleep-deprived for a while nine or ten hours is ideal.
Quality sleep with no problems falling or staying asleep is a sign of good health. While you sleep is also the time when your body repairs itself. So if you’re trying to heal and you’re not getting enough sleep you’re setting yourself up for failure.
I went for years and years getting very poor sleep. I had too much to get done in a day to spend my time sleeping. But at some point I just had no energy and could barely function. It has been great over the last couple months to get nine or ten hours of sleep a day (night time + a nap). My body really needed it. Hopefully soon I can stop taking a nap every day and just stick with my eight hours a night and have it be sufficient.
Even if every other part of your lifestyle is ideal, if you’re not getting enough sleep you won’t feel your best.
6. Exercise is great…if you are eating and sleeping enough.
If you are not eating or sleeping enough, it can be beneficial to take a break from exercise. When you do exercise it’s good to do a variety of things like weight lifting, yoga and walking. You don’t have to push yourself to extremes to be healthy and fit. Too much aerobic exercise may be harmful.
I used to run every single day. And do nothing else. Now I still enjoy running. But I don’t do it every day. Actually I haven’t done any running in a long time because my body was not healthy enough. When I was healing I stuck to short walks and bikes. I also did gentle yoga. I got new weights for Christmas…but haven’t been able to use them. Maybe by next Christmas I’ll be able to start lifting weights 🙂
Move your body doing what you enjoy. Make sure to do a variety of things to work all parts of your body. And combine it with enough food and enough sleep. That is the way to stay healthy.
7. Basal body temperature can tell you a lot about your health.
Basal body temperature is your temperature when you first wake up in the morning. Another great thing I did for my health in 2013 was to check my temperature every single morning and keep a spreadsheet of it.
Your bbt can tell you if your metabolism is working well or not. For women it can also tell you when you ovulate/how your hormones are functioning. So it is a good indicator of health (since metabolism is a key factor in health). It is also great for understanding fertility and either getting pregnant or preventing pregnancy.
A healthy individual with a well-functioning metabolism should have a bbt of at least 97.8 F in the morning. Higher is even better. You can also check your temperature throughout the day to get an idea of how your food and activity level impacts your body temperature. It will help you see what keeps you warm (boosting metabolism) or makes you cold (suppressing metabolism). Then you can adjust your lifestyle accordingly.
For women, bbt is lower (but still usually around the 97.8 range for a healthy individual) in the first half of your cycle when estrogen is dominant and progesterone is low. When you ovulate there is often a temperature drop for one day. Then after ovulation progesterone increases, raising your temperature.
It will take a few months of charting your temperature to get an idea of how your body works and to see if there are any patterns. For example, as I was healing and charting my bbt there wasn’t really a pattern that I noticed at first. My cycles were not regular. But after a while I noticed that if my bbt dropped into the 96’s (or below) even for one day my body was way off and was struggling to get my hormone levels up. And it would be at least two weeks before ovulation. A bbt below 97 meant a restart for me. If my bbt stayed in the 97’s for two weeks I knew ovulation was coming. And after ovulation my bbt was always at least in the 98’s and sometimes 99’s. Once my bbt started dropping that meant the start of a new cycle.
Charting my bbt was the easiest change I made the whole year. But it told me more about my health than just about anything else I did.
8. Focus on health, not looks.
I think I’ve been saying this for years. So it’s not completely new. But deep down I don’t think I fully believed it. I did shift my mindset to focus on health a long time ago. But I didn’t ever drop the focus on looks and size. I still wanted to be thin.
In 2013 my control over my size was taken away. With my thyroid totally out of whack my weight kept going up and up. There was nothing I could do about it. For the first time I truly had to focus 100% on my health.
Did I always like how I looked? No. Did I want to loose some weight? Yes. But that was completely secondary. My health was front and center. And it always will be now, no matter what size I am.
When I look to the future I think about how I want to impact my children. I would much rather teach them to take care of themselves and be healthy. I don’t want to teach them to be obsessed with looks and size. So I am done with that.
Don’t try to be a certain size or weight. Treat your body well. And give your body what it needs to be healthy. You’ll be so much happier. Love yourself and take care of yourself.
9. Change is a very gradual process.
Change does not happen over night. No matter what the next fad diet or workout video tells you. If you want to make changes that are sustainable long term it will be a very gradual process.
Do you want to loose weight? That’s fine. But know that it will take a while. Do you want to eat healthier? That’s a wonderful thing to do. But don’t go crazy trying to do everything at once.
Small, consistent steps each day will get you where you want to be. Don’t get upset because two weeks into making changes you haven’t noticed any big improvements. Give it time.
Healing takes time. Weight gain or loss takes time. A healthy diet takes time. Don’t rush it and set yourself up for failure. I’ve been working on getting healthy for about 15 years now. And I’m finally getting there. One step at a time.
10. Your thyroid can have a big impact on your health.
I was diagnosed as hypothyroid in 2006. I was put on a synthetic thyroid hormone and had my TSH checked about once a year. I really knew nothing about thyroid. I figured the doctor knew what he was doing. I didn’t have any hypothyroid symptoms that I knew of. So I didn’t bother to learn about it. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.
Seven years later I finally had to learn more about it. I wish I would have researched it sooner. I didn’t realize just how much your thyroid could impact your health. I think there are about 200 symptoms that can be attributed to thyroid dysfunction.
Last year I learned so much about the thyroid. I learned what blood work you need to get done and how to interpret the results. Just because your levels are in the “normal” range does not mean you are on the right dose of medication. You have to look at the symptoms more than the numbers.
I learned about the different kinds of medications, how to take them and how to get correct dosage.
I learned how other hormones can impact your thyroid and vice versa.
I learned that iron levels and adrenal problems can mimic thyroid problems. And they need to be addressed first.
I can’t say that I have my thyroid problem 100% figured out yet. It is the last piece of the puzzle that I’m still working on. And I will be writing more on this topic in the future. I will be getting my thyroid hormones levels rechecked in a week and go from there to see if adjustments need to be made.
11. Manage stress.
Stress can be as bad for your health as lack of sleep, a poor diet and lack of exercise. Stress can suppress your metabolism. It can alter your hormones. It can come in many forms too.
Find a way to manage your stress to stay healthy. Take time to do things you enjoy – reading, writing, visiting with friends. It’s also important to find techniques to relax such as walking, yoga or reading the Bible. Figure out what works for you and make it a priority.
12. Adrenal health is very important.
Your adrenal glands play a huge role in your health. If you are not getting enough sleep, aren’t eating enough, are exercising too much or are too stressed, your adrenal glands have to work overtime to compensate.
This works for a while. That is what they are for. They raise your cortisol levels to compensate. But if you do it for too long you stress the adrenals and eventually it leads to adrenal fatigue. Then your cortisol bottoms out and it takes a lot of work to get it back up.
If you think you are suffering from adrenal problems it’s great to do a 24-hour saliva test to check your cortisol levels. I had it done early last year. I’m thankful that my levels were just slightly raised. Which means I was doing ok, but starting to make them work a little too hard. By altering my sleep, diet and exercise I was able to get my cortisol levels back to normal.
13. Birth control is not for everyone…and probably not good for most women.
This is another less I had to learn the very hard way. But it wasn’t until years after I stopped birth control that I realized how much it had harmed me.
A few months before I got married I started birth control. That’s what you do, right? I knew nothing about what it was or what it actually does to your body. But had I not made that one decision I probably never would have struggled with infertility for so many years.
When I was in college I got my health under control. Things weren’t perfect, but I was eating enough, sleeping enough and exercising regularly. I had found a good balance. And for the first time in my life I had regular cycles every single month. This lasted a few years…until I started birth control.
Once on birth control things started to change. The changes were gradual. And I never attributed them to the birth control. But now that I have done a lot of research I can see the big picture. I started to gain weight. Five pounds or so. Nothing major. My anxiety started to get worse. My OCD started to get worse. Eventually I started having panic attacks. My gut got so messed up that I started restrictive diets to try to help. My weight went way down from restriction. I was a big mess. I even had to switch to a new form of birth control because I was starting to puke every month from the hormones. In case you haven’t noticed by now my body is extremely sensitive to any hormone fluctuations.
After stopping birth control three years later it was too late. My hormones were non-existent. I was underweight. I was hypothyroid. My OCD was so out of control that I could barely function. My anxiety was so bad. I had to start seeing a psychologist. My digestive system was so messed up that I had to have major colon surgery. Eventually we started fertility treatments.
I think almost all of this could have been avoided had I not taken birth control. It messed up both my mind and my body.
I know not everyone reacts the same way to hormones. And I’m sure there are cases where it can be helpful. But please do your research before considering any type of birth control. I know that it is something I will never take again. It has taken me many years to get my life back. I’m not going down that road ever again.
14. Be your own advocate.
One big lesson I have learned over the last ten years is that you have to stand up for yourself. Don’t let doctors brush you off or tell you you’re fine when you know you’re not. If something doesn’t feel right, find a doctor that will help.
I had GI problems for years. I finally was brave enough to talk to my doctor about it. He referred me to a gastroenterologist. Great. I thought I’d finally get the help I needed. He asked a few questions, felt my stomach and told me I was healthy and fine. Eventually I got him to run a few tests. But he still said I was fine. I knew I was not. I had to research and research and finally diagnose myself. Even then when I told the nurse at my doctor’s office what I thought was the problem she said “you don’t have that. You’re too young” without missing a beat…over the phone…without asking me a single question. I’m so thankful I was persistent and didn’t just say ok. I finally got referred to a colon surgeon who confirmed my diagnosis and immediately scheduled surgery.
This has happened time and time again to me. I go to a doctor, even specialists, trying to get help. And they tell me I’m fine. Even though I know I’m not. I have had to figure out all of my problems on my own…and just use doctors to get medications and treatments.
15. PCOS is a confusing topic.
When I had my first appointment with an endocrinologist he asked some questions and made an assumption about my health. He assumed I had PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). He ran some tests and did an ultrasound. His conclusion? I had what he called polyfollicular ovaries.
Great. What does that mean? I never really did find out from him or anyone. I tried to research it for years. Nobody else used that term. I have come to some of my own conclusions (as usual). But it’s still confusing.
Many women with PCOS are overweight or have trouble maintaining their weight. Many women with PCOS have irregular cycles and heavy, painful periods. Many women with PCOS struggle with facial hair. Did that sound like me? Not really. I just had no periods.
The common solutions for PCOS are losing weight, eating low carb and taking Metformin to help with insulin resistance. Did I need any of that. No. In fact, eating low carb made my situation worse.
Where did that leave me? Basically my body would try to grow some follicles/eggs each month. But my hormone levels weren’t high enough to mature the eggs. So instead of having one dominant follicle that released an egg (ovulation) I’d have lots of small follicles that did nothing but sit there. Which on ultrasound looks like little cysts. They are really just lots of follicles…polyfollicular.
Even when doing IVF I would have tons of follicles start growing. But very few actually matured enough for the egg to be good (hence our seven rounds of IVF and two good eggs out of almost forty that were retrieved and fertilized). That is also why I would have a condition called hyperstimulation every time. There were too many follicles.
I still don’t have a full answer about what this means. One endo said it’s from bad communication between the brain and the ovaries. Could I technically be classified as having PCOS? I don’t know. I don’t really have the symptoms. My condition is helped by being a healthy weight and taking care of myself. Finding balance with sleep, exercise and food. I also think it is related to my thyroid problem.
All this to say that if you have been diagnosed with PCOS please do your research to figure out where you fit into the criteria and what treatment is best for you.
15 weeks
16. Let God have control.
I’ve known my whole life that ultimately God is in control. But I also know I can make choices. For most of my life I’ve tried to be in control. I ask God for things I want. I ask for things to go my way. If things are good I say it’s God’s plan. But when things aren’t going so well it’s hard to believe it’s still true.
I have such a strong desire to be in control that I could not let go on my own. In 2013 God took the control out of my hands. And it was wonderful. It doesn’t mean that my life was great. Actually it was very hard. But it gave me such freedom to not have to hold every little detail of my life in perfect balance. It was terrifying and wonderful at the same time.
It is so good to know and have proof that God really does have things in his control. He knows what I need. His plans may be different than mine. His timing may be different than mine. But I don’t have to worry about it.
On my own, trying to keep control, I probably would not have had any more children. I would not have made the necessary changes on my own. But with God in control we are expecting baby #3. And the door is open for more. That is something we can decide as a couple down the road. But just to know the door is open, even if we decide not to have more kids, is amazing.
17. OCD does not have to control my life.
It’s no secret that I’ve struggled with pretty severe obsessive compulsive disorder for many years now. I was finally diagnosed/finally realized that I had it about five years ago. And I’ve been working on treating it ever since.
It has been a long and difficult journey. No matter how much I told myself my compulsions were silly and illogical I couldn’t stop. I went through a lot of exposure therapy and have made progress over the years.
Over the last seven months once again God has allowed me to change. When He takes the control, my OCD does not have to control me.
Especially during the first trimester of this pregnancy I had to just let everything go. I just had to do what I could to get through each day. If that meant laying on the couch most of the day, then that’s what I did. If that meant eating less than ideal food, then that’s what I did. If that meant my digestion was so messed up that I was in pain, I didn’t let it bother me or make me anxious. I just kept on going.
I’m so happy to be able to continue this process of eliminating my OCD. My fear does not have to take control. I can give it to God. And I’m never going back to where I was.
It’s hard to think back to when I was first married. It’s hard to think about all the time I wasted being consumed by my thoughts and compulsions. I am very blessed to have such a loving husband that never judged or got upset with me. He helped me through it. And with each child I’ve let more of it go. I’m a type A person. So I will never be 100% cured from OCD. It’s part of my nature. But it will no longer control my life. It will only be an asset and be used for good things. It is what fuels the drive and determination I’ve always had. But if it hinders my relationships or my life it has to go.
Final Thoughts
It feels so good to share all of this information in hopes of helping even one other person. But even more than that it feels good to write it out and be done with the things that have burdened me for so many years. I know how to be healthy and happy. I’m ready to move on to 2014 now.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this post I’ll be digging deeper into some of these topics later. For now if you’d like to do some research on your own, here are some great resources I’ve come across.
I’ve been meaning to get to this post for a while. Last month I got a copy of The Nourished Metabolism, an e-book by Elizabeth Walling. And I immediately wanted to tell everyone about it. But I’ve been busy reading it, re-reading it and doing my own health updates (Part 1, Part 2) that were spurred on by the book.
I’m finally getting around to it…with only a few days to spare to get a copy for 35% off!! Sorry about the late review. But even if you miss the May 31 deadline I think it’s worth every penny at full price.
Here are the topics Elizabeth covers:
You’ll learn why sleep is so, so, so important…a lesson I’ve learned the hard way.
You’ll learn why you might need to add salt to your diet and drink less water. More salt and less water alone made a huge difference for me in raising my body temperature and even helping with digestion.
You’ll learn why sugar is not evil…in fact you need some.
You’ll learn about listening to your body instead of a diet or routine that someone else prescribes. No vegetarian. No paleo. No low carb. No high fat. Just do what works for your body.
The first time I opened the book I went through the whole thing…in one sitting. I could not put it down.
I could go on and on and on about how great this book is. But I will let it speak for itself. Do yourself a favor and order a copy today.
Until May 31 you canget it at 35% off and get a FREE copy of Elizabeth’s e-booklet: Emotional Eating Myths and Solutions.
Are you searching for the perfect diet? The one that will help you lose weight and have tons of energy? The one that will let you eat whatever you want? The one that says you don’t have to exercise? The one that will give you glowing skin? The one that will make you look 10 years younger? The one that is so easy to follow?
I’m not.
I don’t have to look a certain way. I don’t have to meet some standard of beauty. I just want to feel good. I want to enjoy life and be available to care for my family and spend time with friends. I want a diet that will heal my mind and my body and allow me to use the gifts God has given me.
If you’re searching for the perfect diet, STOP. A one-size-fits-all “perfect” diet does not exist. You can’t just read a book and follow the rules. Everybody is different. But that does not mean there aren’t a lot of good diets with useful principles.
Through years of trial and error and testing and research I’ve found several diets that have helped me in various ways. By combining them I create MY perfect diet.
Most of the principles focus on healing. Which is what I need. Which is what a lot of people need.
This may not be your perfect diet. But you could still take away some ideas for how to heal your own body and feel good.
Here are some of the main principles from various sources that have helped me. Maybe they can help you too. I am also including some of the downfalls…mistakes I made along the way. You might be surprised by what actually hurt instead of helped me. __________________________________________________________________________
Nourishing Traditions/WAPF
Pros: Nourishing Traditions is what introduced me to REAL food. It is still my go-to book for questions about traditional foods and how to prepare them. It taught me the truth about things like fat (which ones are good for us and which are not…and that you should eat a lot of it), cholesterol (no, high cholesterol is not what causes heart disease…we actually NEED cholesterol) and grains (they can be part of a healthy diet, but they should be properly prepared by soaking, sprouting or fermenting). It contains a wealth of knowledge and changed the way our whole family eats and views food.
Cons: NT encouraged my tendency to eat the same things day after day. Especially when giving advice on eating for fertility and pregnancy it recommends eating a specific amount of certain foods (like egg yolks, organ meats, certain fats, etc…nutrient dense foods) every single day. Unfortunately this habit is what led to a lot of my food sensitivities…which I now have to try to undo. For someone with a healthy gut this can be good advice. And they do recommend very healthy food. But for someone like me it was detrimental to focus on eating a certain list of foods every day. It fueled my obsessiveness and caused inflammation in my body.
Gut and Psychology Syndrome
Pros: Gut and Psychology Syndrome is a detailed protocol for healing the gut…and in turn healing conditions like allergies, autism, ADD, etc. It introduced me to the wonderful world of stock and bone broth. They are both very healing and should be a staple for everyone (in addition to healing they provide nourishment and protect against illness). GAPS showed me that we don’t have to rely so much on grains in our diet, as they can be irritating. It also reinforced the need for probiotics (both through supplements and foods like cultured dairy and ferments) to help seal a leaky gut. It really explained how the gut works and what can damage it. And it forced me to be creative with my cooking and baking and try new things.
Cons: GAPS is quite restrictive. And for someone with OCD that is not good. I got to the point where I was almost scared to eat. I was afraid the tiniest thing would hurt me. So it caused a lot of anxiety instead of helping to get rid of it. Much like NT, GAPS also reinforced the idea of eating the same things day after day. You could be on a certain phase of the diet for weeks, with only a few food options. I also wound up eating very low carb. It was not intentional. I had never even heard of eating low carb. But without grains in my diet and without the knowledge of what does/doesn’t contain carbohydrates and how to balance them with protein and fat I tended to eat a LOT of protein. I lived on meat, broth, eggs and nuts. And it did more harm than good to my body in the long run.
Many people are on the GAPS diet for years. I now know that unless you have severe problems it should probably be more short term. You can go through all of the phases in a matter of weeks to kickstart healing and then get back to a normal diet of what works for your body.
I also don’t think that grains are bad for everyone. Nor is gluten a problem for everyone. I personally do better with some grains in my diet (I’m still figuring out which ones are best). Yes, I feel better when they are properly prepared. No, I can’t make them the bulk of my diet. But I do need some. Otherwise I don’t get enough starch/carbohydrate and I get colon spasms. My gut does not like only having meat and vegetables.
Allergy/Sensitivity Rotational Diet
Pros: I was recently tested for food sensitivities. My results came back with a long list of foods I should avoid. The protocol for healing involves rotating foods/food families every four days. This is a new concept to me. But something that I need. And something that has had the biggest impact on my healing. I tend to eat the same things day after day. And that is what caused a lot of my problems in the first place. By rotating my foods I avoid causing new sensitivities and I give my gut a much needed break to heal. It is also a great way to pinpoint what foods I don’t tolerate. For the moment I am limiting gluten and dairy and cutting out eggs. But I hope to add them back at some point.
Cons: Some say that these tests are not accurate and that depending on the day/time you test you could have different results. So if you follow the prescribed diet you might be cutting out foods without really needing to. I am aware of this. So I am not completely cutting gluten and dairy out of my diet yet. I have them in limited quantities in my rotation to assess how my body responds.
Metabolism Typing
Pros: When thinking about a healthy diet it is important to realize we are all different. Metabolism typing helps you figure out what type of food your body metabolizes more efficiently and needs more of to function well. I learned that I am a carb type. So my body needs a higher amount of carbohydrates than protein…the opposite of how I was eating on GAPS. It was very helpful to know how to adjust my diet.
Cons: As with most diet theories, not everyone agrees with this. Some say it is not accurate. It is also easy to fall into the trap of gravitating towards a diet full of mostly grains. You still have to figure out which carbohydrates are best for your body (potatoes, starchy vegetables like pumpkin and squash, fruits, natural sweeteners, grains). So you still have work to do, but it is nice to have a general guideline.
Eat for Heat/Diet Recovery
Pros: 180 Degree Health, Diet Recovery and Eat for Heat (all written by Matt Stone) really helped me get out of my obsessive, anxious, restricted way of eating. Matt’s information helped me stop the GAPS diet, gain some needed weight, become more relaxed about food and taught me to listen to my body. I am so thankful for the change this brought. It has been the biggest help in dealing with my OCD. I now challenge what I read and make sure I’m doing what works for me. I don’t follow anyone else’s diet/path to health. I recommend these books/his site to everyone. No matter what your health status.
I have learned that we don’t need to drink so much water every day. Most people are likely overhydrating and flushing the minerals out of their bodies. I have learned that a great assessment of your health is body temperature and the warmth of your hands and feet. This directly correlates to the state of your metabolism.
I have learned that it’s good to start the day with a large, starchy meal and gradually eat lighter as the day goes on. I learned that a good way to get your metabolism and body temperature up is by eating plenty of salt, sugar, starch and saturated fat and to be sure you are eating enough calories. Restrictive eating only does damage.
I have also learned that it is important to not overexercise. If your body needs healing you need to give it rest. And sleep is very important. Even up to 10 hours a night if you are in the process of healing. Once you are feeling good then you can exercise according to what you feel like doing, not what you think you should do.
Cons: While this way of thinking was very freeing and just what I needed after GAPS, it can also lead to an attitude of ambivalence. Although sometimes it actually does help to forget all health rules and just eat what sounds good (even processed food and fast food!), after a while you have to remember what your idea of health is and what your standards are for healthy eating. It is great to let go of a restrictive mindset, but you also can’t stop caring about your health.
Many people do gain weight at first when following Diet Recovery and Eat for Heat as the body heals and regulates (though not everyone does…some lose weight!). Usually the weight comes off naturally after the healing period. This can be a negative aspect for some. But in the end it’s worth the short term gain to fully heal your body. I think my weight went up about 12 or 13 lbs. at first. Then I dropped about 3 lbs. and stayed pretty steady.
Fiber Menace
Pros: For anyone struggling with digestive issues, the information in fiber menace is worth a read. Especially if you struggle with constipation. If you go to a doctor they will tell you to eat more fiber, drink more water, eat less fat and exercise. My response…WRONG! If that was the answer I wouldn’t have had problems for so many years. In fact, the answer is quite the opposite. You need lots of fat (healthy fats like butter, sour cream, tallow, evoo, lard and coconut oil). And you actually don’t need a ton of fiber. It is good to get some in your diet. But you don’t need a lot. Fiber is actually quite irritating. It causes bulk in stools…which makes stools tougher, not easier, to pass. And this causes things like fissures, hemorrhoids and prolapse. You should eat foods that are mostly utilized and absorbed by the body.
Cons: Fiber Menace promotes eating hardly any fiber at all. We do need some. And the amount is different for everyone. So you have to figure out what works for you. You need enough to help digestion work properly, but a small enough amount so that it does not cause problems. This book also talks about how little we need to it. I don’t agree with that. Just because someone can function on two meals a day, made up mostly of fat that doesn’t mean it’s healthy. So there are some good ideas in this book, and it really explains the digestive process well. But you also have to use common sense and know what works for your own body. _____________________________________________________________________________
So what does my diet look like you ask? I am always making adjustments as I listen to my body and figure out what does and doesn’t work at the moment. I challenge myself and experiment with different foods to see if my tolerances have changed. But in general these are the guidelines I use to choose my food and create my perfect diet.
1. Eat nutrient dense, homemade food. Make sure all grains are properly prepared through soaking or sprouting. 2. Incorporate broth when possible to heal my gut. Make sure I use a variety of broths (beef, chicken, turkey, fish) and rotate them. 3. Use a 4-day rotational diet that eliminates my personal problem foods and limits foods I’m not sure about/that I test positive for on a sensitivity test. 4. Eat a higher proportion of carbohydrates than protein. 5. Eat enough salt, sugar, starch and fat, especially to start my day. Don’t drink too much/only drink if I’m thirsty. 6. Don’t eat too much insoluble fiber/raw food. My colon is very sensitive and is irritated very easily. I stick to softer foods most of the time with occasional small amounts of raw food or higher fiber foods. Eat plenty of healthy fat.
How about you? What is your perfect diet, and how did you come up with it?
After years of experimenting, going to various doctors and trying to figure things out on my own I recently decided to see a more holistic doctor. She ran a lot of tests to get a better idea of what is going on in my body.
I got all of the results yesterday. To say that I am overwhelmed is an understatement.
I’m not making tons of changes today. I’m giving myself time to read, research and plan. But I will also be making some simple changes right away.
Since I’ve been sharing my healing journey for so long I figured I’d share all of my test results as well. So here goes.
I’ll start with a positive – my CBC is almost all normal. No anemia! Blood sugar, red/white blood cells, etc. all normal. I am thankful for that. It doesn’t seem as though I have any kind of autoimmune disease. That was great news. I was also happy that my temp was 98 degrees at the doctor’s office!
Thyroid: As expected my overall TSH is in the normal range (because of my medication). But my Free T3 is NOT. It is very low. That is why I still have hypothyroid symptoms even on medication. I will be switching to Armour – a more natural thyroid medication. I can’t wait!! Hopefully this will take care of things since I don’t think I have anything more serious, like Hashimotos.
Vitamin D: My vitamin D levels are very low. So I’ll be taking a large dose of D3 once a week to try to get that back up to normal.
Magnesium: As expected my magnesium levels are low…even while taking quite a bit of supplemental magnesium. So I have a new form to try.
Minerals: On the whole all of my mineral levels are low. Which means I’m not absorbing them from the food I eat. This is largely due to a leaky gut, low stomach acid and taking Miralax. One of the minerals that is really low is Lithium. So I’ll be taking a low dose supplement of that. I will also take Zypan to help with stomach acid and absorption. And I will be taking L-glutamine. My goal is also to stop taking Miralax as soon as I am able. Hopefully some of the other changes I’m making will help my digestion and take away the need for Miralax.
Heavy Metals: I have fairly high levels of lead and nickel in my body. Other metals that are higher than desired are aluminum, arsenic, cadmium and mercury. At the moment I am not going to do any thorough testing/chelation. But I will be taking alpha lipoic acid to get some of it out of my body.
Adrenals: My adrenals/cortisol levels are way out of whack (I knew that). They are really high in the morning (should be 7-10, mine are 16!). Then they dip into the normal range mid morning. But instead of continuing to go down as the day goes on they go back up a bit and never get back to the normal range. So my body is always in a fight or flight stress mode with raised cortisol levels. I will be taking Nusera to help with anxiety to get my stress down and I’ll be trying to get more sleep.
Allergies: This is a big one. I don’t have any life threatening food allergies…if I did I would have known that by now 😛 But I do have some very strong reactions in my body from some foods. You can call them food allergies or food sensitivities. It just depends on your definition. Either way my body is attacking itself when I eat these foods. Here is the list of foods that came up positive (I have antibodies to them), from the highest (worst offenders (in red)) to the lowest (in yellow).
The plan of action for dealing with this is to completely eliminate all of them from my diet. After 3 months I can one at a time try re-introducing the yellow foods. If I tolerate them I can add them back in to my diet. If not I have to wait another 3 months and try again. After 5 months I can start trying the orange foods. After 6 months I can try adding the red foods.
According to my doctor it is rare to be able to add dairy and wheat/gluten back. I don’t think that is totally true.
Regardless of what phase I’m in I should be on a rotational diet…permanently. That will take some getting used to. If you eat a food one day, you can’t eat it (or anything from the same family I think) again for 4 days. I’ll have to do some good planning and keep track of what I eat.
I think it will be difficult to find enough food to eat. In addition to this list of allergies, I have the list of food sensitivities that I’ve discovered just through trial and error (there is some overlap with this list). And if I can only eat a particular food once every 4 days I don’t know how I’m going to find enough options. So I need to do some thinking and planning. And I might need to talk to a nutritionist.
Here are my biggest offenders that I have found from experience (I did not mention the ones already listed above): brown rice, corn, potatoes, bananas, apples, almonds, oats, peppers, onions, tomatoes, spinach/most leafy greens starch/gums – corn starch, potato starch, guar gum, tara gum, arrowroot, carageenan, polysorbate, etc. (ice cream, processed foods, powdered sugar, frosting), artificial sweeteners, black beans.
This is too much to do all at once. At this point I’m planning to start by eliminating eggs (I started that last Sat. and I can tell it has helped.) I already don’t eat yeast or malt. The only other item on the red list is yogurt. I will probably cut that out soon as well. Once I’ve got that going I will work my way down the list. Then eventually work my way back up 🙂
I still need to do some research before I cut too much out. I don’t want to make things worse again by cutting huge food groups out. I’ve done that before…and it hasn’t seemed to help. I finally got wheat and dairy back into my diet. So I’m hesitant to cut them back out again so soon. We’ll see.
I will be working on following a rotational diet. I’ll start with vegetables. I tend to eat a lot of different vegetables each day. But then I don’t have enough options left to skip all of them for four days. I need to focus on just a couple vegetables each day (even if I eat the same ones for breakfast, lunch and dinner). And make it easier to rotate. After I get going with vegetables I work on things like protein sources, grains and fats.
Candida:
Finally my tests showed major candida/yeast overgrowth. I tested positive for abnormal IgM antibodies (recent Candida overgrowth), increased levels of IgA antibodies (mucosal barrier overgrowth – digestive, respiratory, nasal, mouth ears, vaginal or skin) and increased levels of IgG antibodies (ongoing chronic infection).
This cuts even more foods out of my diet. Basically anything fermented or anything with sugar (added or natural). This includes things like olives, alcohol, vinegar, most condiments, sugar, honey, maple syrup, fruit, cheese, fruit juice and dried fruit.
The so-called remedy is to avoid foods that feed the bad bacteria and take antifungals. Then replace the bad bacteria with good bacteria through probiotics.
I am not sure what my views are on candida at this point. Some say anti-candida diets are so helpful. Others think it’s a bunch of bologna 😛 So I’m still researching right now. I have decided to focus on the other items (thyroid, minerals, allergies, etc.) and hold off on any treatment related to candida. I will be conscious of not going overboard with sugars. And I don’t eat much fermented anyway since I just don’t tolerate it well. I am taking a probiotic. But I’m not doing the antifungals or a totally sugar free diet right now. ______________________________________________________________________
So that’s it…at least most of it. Hopefully you made it this far 🙂 I have a lot to think about. A lot to research. A lot to change. I’m going to do it one step at a time and not overwhelm my system. I’m hopeful that these changes will be very helpful and that I will experience a lot of healing. I’m hopeful that the elimination diet will be successful and I’ll be able to add the majority of the foods back into my diet at some point.
I’m sure there will be more updates as I get a better handle on everything. Now I need to figure out what I can/can’t eat and when. I need to figure out how to make meals that I can eat without totally restricting my family, especially my kids. And without always having to make a separate meal for myself. I need to figure out how to manage social settings that revolve around food. All in good time.
I am thankful that I don’t have any life threatening allergies. I am thankful that I have more information and direction about what my body needs to heal. It will take work and will be challenging. But it’s just that, a challenge. Nothing I can’t handle. I know God will provide the knowledge and strength and help I need. I look forward to new cooking and baking experiments that fit my new lifestyle. And I’m excited to continue to share my journey and knowledge with others.
I want to continue to spread the word about Real food and health. I want to continue to spread the word about hope and healing. I want to get healthier so I can be a better wife and mother and servant of Christ. I’m thankful for answers. And I’m thankful that God has a plan and will guide me through this next phase.
Over the last month I’ve had a lot of ideas floating around in my head. Just when I think I figure something out I find contradictory information or another avenue to explore. The best way for me to make sense of my thoughts is to write them out. So bear with me as I navigate some theories. This may get quite lengthy and there probably won’t be any pretty pictures 😛 I commend you if you make it to the end. And feel free to offer advice if you have any experience with any of this.
Theory One:
My initial theory about what’s going on was something like this: I eat well (i.e. healing foods, GAPS, etc.) for a few days. I feel good and have no problems sticking with what I should eat. Then, my body tries to start healing/getting rid of the junk. I suffer bad die off. I feel rotten. My body craves the junk again and I give in to calm my body/feed the bad stuff that is causing the commotion/reduce stress (I’m an emotional eater…if I don’t feel good I might as well just eat whatever I want mentality)/feel “better.” I suffer through this for a week or two and end up back where I started.
So my body is in a constant state of distress. I can be “good” about what I eat for a few days. But then the reactions are so strong that I just can’t stick with it. It’s like my brain is telling me I MUST have sugar, bread, etc. And I just can’t control it. It’s kind of like trying to stop a drug addiction. It doesn’t help that I love to bake…and have temptations all around me. And my family does not have restrictions…nor do I want to impose my restrictions on them. But I do all of the cooking. So inevitably I take little tastes of things here and there that I make for them. I take bites when I feed my kids. And it adds up.
I’m not sure how to stop this process. I don’t think just trying to eat good foods and avoid “bad” foods is enough for me. I’ve had so many years of restrictions. It’s hard to keep up. Maybe I need some kind of cleanse or detox? Maybe I need higher doses of vitamins/minerals/probiotics? Maybe I need amino acids or other supplements? I’m not really sure.
Whatever the case the road to recovery involves a healing diet like GAPS…and figuring out how to do it in a way that works for my body and stick with it.
Theory Two:
The first theory makes sense. And it could be true. However the basis of GAPS is healing using broth/stock/gelatin, probiotics, cultured foods and ferments while eliminating stressors like grains and sugars. I did that. For about 10 months. And I can’t say it made a huge impact overall. Sure, there were times I was feeling ok. And I now know I was eating a little too low carb. But it still should have helped more. On the whole I’m still where I started. And actually tolerate less now than I did before doing GAPS (more on that in theory four).
I’ve recently been reading a lot about histamine intolerance. I learned about it as I researched reactions to ferments. I’ve always been intolerant of alcohol. And I’m figuring out lately how strongly I react to anything fermented – sauerkraut, vinegar, even cheese. This is a large component of histamine intolerance.
The funny/frustrating thing about it is that a diet to help with histamine intolerance is almost the complete opposite of GAPS/opposite of how I eat right now. Nothing slow cooked, no long simmered broth, no ferments, no eating leftovers from a big pot of soup. Everything must be fresh. A lot of my go-to foods that I eat almost daily are on the list of high histamine foods.
That leads me to the question…is a healing diet like GAPS doing me more harm than good? Do I feel rotten when I try to eat “right” simply because my body is going through a healing phase/die off or am I really causing my body stress and eating everything I shouldn’t? Do I eat the ferments and push through the reaction and hope my body adjusts? Or should I completely avoid them?
The treatment for histamine intolerance is to eat a low histamine diet. I think that it can be overcome at some point and you can start adding the foods back in eventually.
Theory Three:
Another theory is that I’m dealing with a bad case of candida. Meaning the good/bad bacteria balance in my gut/body is so out of whack. The bad has taken over. And every time I give in to foods that feed the bad stuff I’m just making things worse.
There are a lot of differing opinions about candida. A lot of western doctors don’t believe it even exists. Some people think you have to be on a very strict diet to get rid of it (no sugar of any kind, no yeast, nothing starchy, etc.). Some say to just avoid high fructose foods and add glandular supplements to your diet.
This also involves taking lots of probiotics to increase the amount of good bacteria in the gut.
Theory Four:
The final diet “revelation” I just recently heard about is a rotational diet. This one actually makes a lot of sense to me/for my situation. I LOVE leftovers. Seriously. If it’s a food I like I don’t care of it’s hot, warm, cold, one day old, three days old. I’ll eat it. And I do. Got four containers of leftovers in the fridge? Even better. I’ll mix them all together (even cold). And eat them for meal after meal until they are gone.
I’ve been doing this for as long as I can remember. If I find something I like I can eat it day after day after day after day. I never get sick of it. In high school I ate almost the exact same lunch every single day. My senior year of college I ate an apple and a yogurt for lunch almost every day. My husband can attest to that 😛 Sometimes I would swap carrots for the yogurt.
Now that I have so many intolerances I tend to stick with a few foods and eat them over and over. I just don’t have many options. I find what “works” and keep eating it. If I make a big batch of split pea soup for dinner one night I’ll eat it for one to three meals a day until it’s gone. If we have leftover salmon cakes I’ll add them to my breakfast and lunch the next day or two and snack on them between meals until they are gone. I don’t think I’m alone being the mommy that ends up using the leftovers so they don’t get wasted 😛 But I actually enjoy them. Not to mention it makes my life easier to have leftovers available for my meals when I don’t have time to cook while taking care of the kids.
So, what’s wrong with that? I didn’t think there was anything wrong before. I actually thought it was great since I could make a big batch of nourishing, healing foods and always have something on hand for myself. Then I wouldn’t reach for junk.
Turns out there could be a lot wrong. First, eating the same foods over and over often creates a food intolerance. And I’m quickly finding this to be true. The foods I ate all the time in college (apples, carrots, oats, peanut butter)…they are the foods I am most intolerant of now. I created such a sensitivity that even one or two small bites of them can make me feel awful/cause a strong reaction in my body.
Then on GAPS I stuck to the same foods. It’s hard not to when you are so limited as you go through the intro diet. And since I considered them “safe” foods I figured I couldn’t go wrong. Well, I was wrong. While on GAPS I ate a lot of nuts. And I did fine with them for a while. Now just one nut (any variety) can be enough to cause inflammation and pain. I’ve also been living on avocados for quite some time. But lately I’m starting to wonder if they are what’s causing a lot of my pain and inflammation.
My list of safe foods is slowly dwindling down to nothing. I currently eat a lot of peas and squash. But I’m afraid that if I keep eating them daily like I do pretty soon they’ll cause a reaction. Maybe even consuming so much broth has made that cause a reaction too. I’m afraid that soon I won’t have anything I can tolerate. Then what?
The solution – a rotational diet. This is a far cry from anything I’ve ever done…which is why it may be just what I need. The idea is that you only eat a particular food/food family once every four days. That way you can really tell if you react to it, and your body does not become intolerant. I’m so used to doing diets that restrict foods or limit your choices…but you can eat those foods as much as you want. And that is my weakness. I’m not even sure how I would go about starting a rotational diet. I love using leftovers. And one of my main strategies for feeding my family healthy food is preparing large quantities and preparing them in advance.
This is definitely something I want to look into more. For now I can try to take simple steps like freezing leftovers in individual servings to take out every so often instead of trying to use them up over the course of three days. And I can try to add a few questionable foods into my diet once every four days just to see what happens. If I don’t expand my diet and just stick to the few things I currently tolerate, soon I’ll be left with no options. So I have to take some chances and change things up a bit.
And when I eat something new and feel ok…I need to NOT go overboard and eat it non-stop for three days 😛 I need to give it a break and wait a few days before trying it again. I’m an all or nothing kind of person. But I need a slow and steady approach.
Miscellaneous Factors and Thoughts:
There are a few other things in my life that factor in. First is lack of sleep. I know how critical sleep is. But I don’t get it. Because of small children and my OCD I actually get very little quality sleep. So my body never has a chance to fully repair and recover over night.
Breastfeeding is another factor. I’ve been doing it for 18 months now. And it really depletes my body. It’s to the point where just one extra feeding in the night can change my weight, my mood, my hunger, my fatigue. I never realized before how much work it is for my already struggling body. Thankfully this one will not last forever…or for much longer 😛 I’m anxious to see how my body reacts when I am done breastfeeding and do not have to provide for two people. Some days I wonder if it’s even worth trying to heal until I’m done breastfeeding.
From a mental stand point I know I don’t get enough down time. Being a full time stay at home mom is stressful. Plus some unique challenges with my kids/the phases they are in/their ages. I also don’t spend much time with other adults/developing relationships. I can’t say I’ve had a really good friend/someone I can call anytime/someone I hang out with since high school (that’s about 15 years…). Being someone with severe OCD, anxiety and chronic health problems I just don’t bother/feel comfortable letting people into my life…letting people really get to know me. I have so many restrictions (food, schedules, etc.) in my daily life that it’s just “easier” to not let people in. I also am not the kind of person that asks for help. I don’t like to bother anyone. So I take everything on myself.
I have had a pretty skewed body image for a long time. So I often just don’t feel good about myself. My weight goes up and down daily. When it’s up I feel down. When it’s down I feel up. And my health issues make it hard to keep it steady. One day I feel good in my clothes. The next day my jeans feel tight and uncomfortable. It doesn’t help that I am in serious need of an entire new wardrobe. Most of my clothes are 5-10 years old. They are out of style and don’t fit my body anymore. So I never feel good about how I look.
I have always had a very strong cold intolerance. I don’t think it’s just part of who I am. I think it’s a big indicator of the severity of my health problems. Once in a while I will eat a meal and then get really warm/my ears are burning. Then I know I finally got at least one meal “right.” But some days I am freezing from morning until evening and can’t seem to do anything about it. I’m finding that’s usually on the third day of eating the same foods over and over. A good sign I need to change it up.
A lot of these theories/diets/ideas overlap. It seems that up until now I’ve always pursued the first theory. I need to heal. Here is exactly what I can and can’t eat. End of story. And it just isn’t working.
So I need to find some kind of new path related to the other theories. All three of them would cut out my current use of leftovers. With histamine intolerance everything has to be fresh. The histamine levels in some foods increases with age. Which is why ferments are so bad. With candida it’s related to mold, yeast, etc. And I am not good about heating leftovers. I’ll eat leftovers cold that are four days old. I know it’s probably bad. But I do. I’m probably consuming lots of bad bacteria without knowing it. And with a rotational diet obviously you can’t eat one night’s dinner for the next day’s breakfast. So I have a lot of thinking and planning to consider.
Taking all of this into consideration I’d say I’m holding up quite well. But that’s not how I want to live. I don’t want to just get by. I want to feel good! I feel like the slightest thing could send me in a downward spiral. I had the flu a couple weeks ago and I could barely manage. My immune system is so run down. I’m planning to see a new doctor soon and try to have some testing done to get more definitive answers. Am I histamine intolerant? Do I have candida? Do I have food allergies? Do I have severe deficiencies?
It’s hard to know which way to turn. Some days I want to just keep plugging along. Some days I want to take a break from everything…sleep as much as I can, eat as much as I want, no exercise, reduce stress as much as possible (the basis of RARRF). I need balance. I need direction.
Simply writing this post has been a big help. It does give me some direction for the moment. But I need external help as well. There are other factors that I have not included in this post that add to the stress of my daily life. I have my own worries and worries about my children.
To conclude…I have no conclusions. I don’t know what’s next. I’m not really sure how to proceed. I just wanted to get my thoughts out. For anyone that doesn’t know me very well…now you probably know more than you want to 😛 For anyone that has experience with any of this please chime in. Or if you simply want to offer a quick prayer that would be appreciated too.
I’m sure there was more I was going to add, but I think I’ve rambled long enough. My brain is in need of a break. It’s Abram’s nap time. So it’s time for me to have a few minutes of quiet.
“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”
Another week of summer has flown by. Last week was quite busy. I did lots of produce preservation (blueberries, zucchini, beans, corn and blueberry topping) and baking/cooking (zucchini bread, sd muffins, yogurt, kefir, ice cream, roasted beets and pesto). Plus I used any extra time I had (and even stayed up a little late sometimes) to finally finish Rebecca’s dress! I’m glad I got all that done…but now I’m worn out!
I think I’m going to take it a little easier this week. I’ll still have to keep up with produce, but I’m not going to do a bunch of extra stuff. And I’m definitely taking a little break from sewing. I do have more projects coming…but maybe in a few weeks. We are going to take it easy and have fun this week.
I do have a couple of baking projects I want to do with Rebecca. But I think I’ll hold off for a week or two on those as well.
I’m not really sure what to say about myself…last week was pretty rough. And I really don’t know why. I’m sure stress and lack of sleep contributed. But I know it was more than that. I do think I overdid a bit with grains (wheat and rice). I can handle a little bit each day, but I had quite a bit some days (why do I bake such good stuff? :P). I’ve also had a mild cold all week. Mostly just a sore throat. It’s what Abram had the week before. I’m also finding that sadly I can’t handle blueberries as well as I had thought. But they are in season and so good! I’ve been eating a lot. They are my absolute favorite fruit, always have been. But…they have seeds. Yes, blueberries have teeny tiny seeds…and they bother my intestines…that’s how sensitive things are right now. I was actually in pain again part of the week. And the inflammation was pretty bad. I even had some weight gain again from how bad it got…my weight has finally been stable for a few months until last week. It’s beyond frustrating! I LOVE fresh, raw foods…but I can’t eat ANY right now. I basically have to live on mush at the moment. And it’s tough. I love crunchy food.
I’ve been digging more and more into the world of minerals and micronutrients. I’ve been reading more and more about potassium and magnesium and how much they impact each other. I know that I am deficient in both. And without one I can’t increase the other. If magnesium is low I won’t be able to get my potassium up no matter how much I eat. And the impact on my body from being low in both (and probably much more) is really taking its toll. So I did some research about what foods contain high amounts of magnesium…no surprise I can’t eat any of them! That is a big problem.
Here is what I think is happening. I can’t eat the food that contains the vitamins and minerals I need because my gut is too damaged to digest them. Without the minerals I can’t heal my gut/my body/my mind. So I’m left with no way out. I need healing, but can’t eat what I need to heal. So now what? I need supplements temporarily to get my body back on track and to be able to get my nutrients from food again and properly digest it. I just need to figure out the right supplements and how much. I can’t do that on my own just guessing.
I did not call my doctor last week…this time on purpose. I have decided I want to see a naturopath to help in this process. I have gotten some recommendations from friends and will soon be calling to set up an appointment. Hopefully they will run some tests and help me figure out how to get my body back in balance. And hopefully this will really help my body function better and get me off of this path of cutting out more and more foods and feeling worse and always guessing. I’m not happy with how my body is functioning and how my health seems to keep declining. I’m hoping that this is the right path to get things back on track. I need a little “help” from supplements to bring back the balance my body needs. Real, nourishing foods are great. But if you have so much damage that you can’t utilize them they do no good.
I did also make an appt. with my psychologist. I have not seen her in over a year. But I’m struggling lately with dealing with my own health problems and the daily struggles with Rebecca’s behavior. I need strategies on how I can handle both things better. That will be next week.
So on to the menu. Nothing fancy this week. Simple, summer meals. ————————— S (boil eggs, church, prep smoothies) B – pancake and sausage muffins, fruit L – egg salad sandwiches, peas, chips D – pb and honey sandwiches, sauteed zucchini, blueberry milkshakes
M (freeze beans, freeze zucchini, dance) B – smoothie, blueberry muffins D – salmon cakes, peas, buttered noodles
T (skim cream, make sc, fm) B – yogurt, granola bar, fruit D – RR – chicken and rice lasagna (with rice, chicken, cheese and avocado)
W () B – smoothie, strawberry bars D – spaghetti
Th () B – yogurt, zucchini bread D – beer battered fish, corn on the cob, sweet potato fries
F () B – yogurt, granola bar, fruit D – fried egg, toast, cheesecake cups, fresh fruit
S (clean) B – zucchini bread, fruit D – grill brats, roasted red potatoes, peas
If you’ve been a reader here very long you know that I’ve tried just about every “diet” possible. I went from the Standard American Diet (SAD) to real food. I’ve been low fat, high fat, low carb, high carb, grain free, gluten free, nut free, dairy free, egg free…just about everything you can think of.
“Do you have a picky eater? Are meal times a battle? Before you get frustrated and assume your child is just strong-willed, take a closer look at what is really going on.
