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Grain Free Strawberry Rhubarb Crisp (gluten free, egg free, GAPS-legal)

The farmer’s market started this week. And what are some of the first things there every year? Strawberries and rhubarb!!! A great combo for desserts. Yesterday Rebecca and I experimented with a grain free crisp. I didn’t have a recipe, and I didn’t measure anything. So I’ll do my best to write down a recipe. I used honey to sweeten it. And a combo of almond flour, coconut flour, chopped nuts, honey, coconut oil and butter for the topping. Turned out quite well. A little liquidy since I didn’t/couldn’t add any kind of starch/thickener. But still very good. And the liquid at the bottom worked well for syrup on top of the ice cream…on top of the crisp 🙂  Justin and Rebecca had some with vanilla ice cream. I was “good” and ate it plain. Still a nice treat. And very healthy! One more dose of coconut oil in my day 🙂  And healthy fruit. I would even consider serving this for breakfast. Really it’s quite healthy. Add some yogurt on top. A great treat for breakfast. This is a fun dessert to make with kids. Aside from the chopping Rebecca could help me with everything. And, yes, the last picture is the crisp in a princess bowl (hard to tell)…it was Rebecca’s snack…all I had time to get a picture of.

This post is linked to Grain Free Tuesdays at Hella Delicious.

Grain Free Strawberry Rhubarb Crisp

3 cups diced rhubarb
2 cups chopped strawberries
1/3 – 1/2 cup honey (to taste)

Topping:
1/2 cup almond flour
1/4 cup coconut flour
1/2 cup melted coconut oil, butter or a combo of the two (I used both…it’s dairy free if you just use coconut oil)
1/2 cup chopped nuts (I used crispy walnuts and pecans)
1/4 cup honey

Grease 8×8 baking dish. Combine rhubarb, strawberries and honey. Pour into dish. Combine topping ingredients. Drop or press on top of fruit. Bake at 350 for 30 – 40 min. (until fruit is cooked and topping is slightly brown). Let cool. Serve plain or with ice cream, whipped cream or yogurt.

Carob Muffins (grain free, gluten free, dairy free)

Another long morning here with both kids up and raring to go earlier than usual. A long morning with no plans means…time to bake! I had actually semi planned on baking anyway, so I did have something in mind. I made another grain free muffin. I wanted to experiment with making one that was “chocolate.” I used carob instead to make them healthier. I can’t say these are GAPS legal because carob is on the no-no list 🙁  But I had one anyway 😛  They turned out well. I used my strawberry muffin recipe as a base and modified some things. I did add a few peanut butter chips to give a little extra flavor (not healthy, I know…but it’s only a few in each muffin). These are almost more like a cupcake…you could definitely use them that way. I’ll have to try making some frosting for these sometime. These are good…Rebecca and I both had one. I think next time I’ll add a little more honey and a little more chocolate extract to bump up the flavor a bit. And I might add another egg to add a little more moisture. But overall very good. And great texture. My other experiment was using mostly ground crispy nuts instead of regular almond flour. I just ground a mix of almonds, pecans and walnuts in the food processor until it was almost like nut butter (a little more coarse). Then used that in combo with a little almond flour. Still worked great. I’ll do that more often now so that my baked goods are easier on the tummy. And I don’t have to buy almond flour. A fun experiment. And tastey too. Not great pics…I was holding Abram and couldn’t adjust any camera settings, zoom, etc. And the muffin I took a picture of hardly had any chips (the small one I gave Rebecca to try).

This post is linked to Grain Free Tuesdays at Hella Delicious,

Carob Muffins

1 1/2 cups of nut meal, nut flour or ground nuts (I use ground crispy nuts)
3 large eggs, separated
1/3 – 1/2 cup of honey
1/4 tsp. of sea salt
2 tsp. of vanilla extract
3 tsp. chocolate extract
1/4 cup carob powder
1 cup add ins (optional…chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, carob chips, dried cranberries, dried cherries, etc.)

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Prepare muffin tins with liners or grease with oil or butter.

In a small bowl beat egg whites until stiff peaks form. Set aside. In separate bowl mix all other ingredients (except add ins) until smooth. Fold in egg whites. Fold in add ins. Fill muffin cups.

Bake for 30 – 35 minutes. Makes 9 – 10 muffins.

Sweet and Sour Stir Fry (GAPS-legal)

I used to make stir fry all the time. And I always used the packets of powder for sauce. Needless to say I have not used those in quite a while. Too many questionable ingredients (never quite sure what those “seasonings” are).

So that means making my own sauce to make stir fry. Well…that’s tricky too. I try to avoid all soy…including soy sauce. So that eliminates just about every recipe you find.

I wanted to make stir fry last night. But I had no idea what to use for sauce. So I came up with a very easy, very tasty recipe! So simple. I had a little beef soup leftover in the fridge…which has lots of good flavor. I combined the broth with a little bit of honey…ta da…sweet and sour sauce that is actually very nutritious! And we all loved it.

Now when I have just a bit of soup/broth leftover I’ll know what to do with it. And now I can make stir fry more often again. No bright orange/red sauce with high fructose corn syrup.

This is a great way to get a variety of vegetables in one meal. Last night I used zucchini, sugar snap peas, broccoli, carrots, beans and corn (cooked in coconut oil for even more nutrition). And I used some leftover pork roast (from the freezer) cut in cubes. So quick and easy. A big hit!

I’m so glad I now have a healthy, easy way to make stir fry. The leftovers make a yummy breakfast, too. This recipe is even GAPS legal and very allergen-friendly. You can serve it over rice or quinoa. It is great on top of butternut squash as well.

Sweet and Sour Stir Fry

2 cups meat of choice, cut in chunks (raw or cooked)
3 cups vegetables of choice cut up
2 Tbsp. coconut oil or other fat (butter, lard, palm shortening)
1 cup any kind of bone broth
1/4 cup honey

If meat is raw cook in coconut oil in hot pan (if it’s already cooked start with next step).

Remove the meat from the pan and set aside.

Cook the vegetables in coconut oil in the hot pan until done to desired tenderness.

Add in cooked meat. Add in broth and honey.

Simmer the mixture until the broth reduces and forms a sauce. Add more broth if the mixture is too dry. Add more honey for a sweeter sauce.

Serve over rice, noodles, quinoa or squash.. Top with crispy nuts if desired.

Homemade Sausage

We love sausage. A few years ago I would have never said that. I never ate sausage…I was scared of eating fat 😛  Now I know better. And will admit I actually do like it…always have. Just wouldn’t let myself eat it before (although I can still honestly say I don’t like brats…other sausage/hot dogs I do). I wasted too many years without good food. I usually get our sausage (pork) from a local farmer. But yesterday I decided to experiment and make my own. I had some ground chicken in the freezer. I had been planning to make chicken burgers. But then I thought it might be fun to make chicken sausage instead. It’s so easy. And so good!!! The best part…I know exactly what is going into the sausage and I can control the spice (we don’t like things spicy…especially Rebecca). I know there is no sugar. And I know I am using good quality unrefined sea salt. You can add whatever seasoning you like. I kept it very simple. I added one egg to the mix. Not sure that it’s necessary, but it doesn’t hurt either. The mixture was very moist, but cooked up well. I cooked the sausage patties in my cast iron skillet in a combo of palm shortening and lard. Lots of healthy animal fat. You can make a bunch of these at once and freeze them for easy breakfasts later. I used 1 lb. and got 10 good size patties out of it. You can use any ground meat you like…pork, chicken, turkey, etc. I will be doing this more often for sure. And I’ll have to experiment with shaping them into links. Any shape would work…maybe something fun to experiment with for kids 🙂  I didn’t actually measure anything. But I’ll try to give rough amounts. Basically just add what you like/season to taste. Final bonus…GAPS legal 🙂  Bring on the sausage!!

Homemade Sausage

1 lb. ground meat
1-2 tsp. unrefined sea salt
1/2 tsp. ground black pepper
1 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. minced onion
1 egg (optional)

Mix all ingredients together. Chill for a bit. Shape into patties. Cook in greased skillet (use butter, coconut oil, palm shortening or lard) about 5-7 min. per side, until cooked through.

Homemade Miracle Whip

Homemade Miracle Whip || Homemade Dutch Apple PieI’ve been making homemade mayo for quite a while now. It’s so easy and so good! And so much better for you. I use extra virgin olive oil, so there is no unhealthy vegetable oil. You could also use avocado oil.

I tweaked my original recipe a bit to make it taste more like Miracle Whip since that’s what I grew up eating.

This really could not be any easier. It takes longer to get the ingredients out than it does to actually make the dressing!

I generally don’t measure any of the ingredients when I make it except the oil. But it still turns out great every time.

There are a few important parts of this dressing – quality pastured eggs (since you use the yolks raw) and an immersion blender.

Homemade Miracle Whip is great for making salmon cakes, chicken salad, tartar sauce, thousand island dressing and honey mustard.

This is even GAPS legal.

Homemade Miracle Whip takes about two minutes to make, thickens up instantly and is very yellow. The way it should be.

How about you…do you prefer mayonnaise or Miracle Whip?

Homemade Miracle Whip || Homemade Dutch Apple Pie

Homemade Miracle Whip

4 pastured egg yolks
1/2 tsp. mustard
1 tsp. lemon juice (optional)
2 tsp. vinegar or apple cider vinegar
1/2 tsp. celtic sea salt
2-3 Tbsp. raw honey
1/2 cup cold pressed EVOO

Combine everything EXCEPT the oil in a wide mouth pint size jar.

Mix with a stick blender until creamy (about 20-30 seconds).

While blending, slowly pour in the oil. Lift the blender up and down as it’s blending- the quick up and down motion helps the mixture to homogenize, and it will thicken right up. This takes about 15-30 seconds.

Cover. Store in the refrigerator. It will stay good for quite a while – at least 4 weeks.

Meal Plans Week of 5-22-11

Is it seriously the 4th week of May already? This month has been kind of a blur 😛  But here we are. Abram is almost 2 weeks old already! I’m trying to enjoy every moment of this tiny baby phase because I know it will be gone soon.

Not too much activity here last week. Mostly just trying to keep everyone dressed and fed and not too sleep deprived. We’re all adjusting to life with a needy 4th family member. The biggest struggle is Rebecca’s adjustment. I don’t blame her. She had 100% of my attention for 3 years and now has to share me. The hardest part is that she has a cold. So I have to tell her don’t touch/kiss/hug/hold/etc. Abram. Talk about feeling left out! Poor girl. So she acts out. And while I don’t blame her I also can’t let her get away with being naughty. Hopefully her cold will be gone soon and she can be much more involved/interact with Abram.

The other struggle has been with Abram…trying to figure out tummy/gas issues. Some days he does ok, other days you can tell he’s in pain. My first thought was that it’s something I’m eating. I cut out some common offenders – nuts, dairy and chocolate (gave me a taste of eating less than full GAPS). And he seemed to do better for a few days. But then it came back. So then I added back a small amount of dairy on Friday. And a few nuts yesterday. Didn’t seem to make much difference (I’ll be very happy to not have to cut those out!!). So, now we try to figure out if it’s something else – I had eaten cauliflower for several days in a row when he was the worst…and that was right up until I cut stuff out. So that could have been it. And I’m trying to watch out for gassy veggies in my diet now. Or it could just be an infant’s immature digestive system and we have to wait it out. Rebecca had similar issues. We used a lot of tummy drops 😛  The only thing that I cut out long term with Rebecca (at least for first 9 months) was peanuts/peanut butter. I have yet to add that back in with Abram. We’ll see how it goes. Abram has his 2 week check up tomorrow, so we’ll see what the doctor says.

My health status…overall I’m doing very well. My tummy is pretty good most days. I’ve lost over 30 lbs., and most of the swelling is gone (still a little in my legs). I’m starting to feel normal again 🙂  I’m very anxious to be more active. I’ve already had to carry Rebecca a couple times. And I’ve been doing some crunches most days. Yesterday I biked for the first time. Sure felt good. I’m hoping to get back into regular exercise. Just not sure how to fit it into my day yet without a routine for Abram. I guess I’ll just have to take it one day at a time and squeeze it in when I can. Hopefully Rebecca, Abram and I can start taking walks every day when the weather is nice. I’m going to start driving again this week…and attempt to go to the grocery store with both kids 🙂  Should be interesting. I’ll be sure to have a short list 😛  On the down side the post pregnancy stuff is starting…a little acne again, nails splitting. My vision seems a little off. I’ve heard pregnancy can really change your vision. At least my glasses help with that. Just waiting for my hair to start falling out 😛  Still battling the OCD and trying to stay mentally tough even with a very unstructured life. Very anxious to get out and about more. Eating LOTS of eggs these days. Since I usually have about 60 seconds to get lunch for myself…with a baby in my arms…I’ve been boiling/peeling eggs ahead of time so I can grab them for breakfast or lunch. If I have homemade mayo on hand I can make egg salad. If not I eat them plain. I’ve also discovered that it’s good to chop up one hard boiled egg and mix it with one raw egg yolk and a little salt. Mmm. Mix in a diced avocado…very tasty lunch that I’ve eaten a lot this week. I’m finding I can mix egg yolk into just about anything 🙂  Use it as a sauce, in place of dressing, etc. So healthy and so easy.

This week will be mostly the same…taking it easy and figuring out daily routines. I had really hoped to go to church today, but I’ll have to stay home since Rebecca is sick. Monday is Abram’s 2 week check up. Justin will go with us to that. Tuesday I’m hoping to go to the grocery store. Wednesday Justin has a dentist appt. and it’s co-op pick up night. Nothing Thursday or Friday. Saturday is still TBD. One of Justin’s cousins is getting married near Detroit. We haven’t decided yet if we’re going or not. It just depends how I’m doing/how Abram’s doing. If we do go we’ll just go for the reception since there’s no way we could make it to Detroit on time for an 11:30 wedding. So we’d just go to the reception for a bit (1:00) and head home. This will be a good opportunity to meet a lot of Justin’s relatives that I’ve never met. But we also have to be smart. Abram won’t even be 3 weeks old yet. A 3 1/2+ hour trip (one way) is a lot for him. Plus stops for diaper change, nursing, etc. So we’ll see how we’re doing later this week.

Food…still just trying to do simple meals that I can prep any time of day. No news of any meal being brought to us. We had one meal from church last week (aside from a couple things from my family)…and that’s it. I had expected more, but maybe that’s all we’ll get. Glad I’m feeling good enough to cook! I’d also like to try a few different veggies this week. Rebecca is getting pickier and pickier about veggies. And there are quite a few I have to avoid. So we eat the same things all the time. Maybe I’ll try to find some beets or something this week…some different veggies to roast. No time for extras yet really. Maybe I’ll be able to bake one day with Rebecca. We’ll see. Other than that I’d like to make insect repellent and ant spray (ants in the kitchen!!). Should take about 60 seconds to make them 🙂

Still playing breakfast by ear. Just depends what time Abram wakes/needs to eat whether I have time to prep things/can eat with Justin. So I just list options and decide the night before. Here’s what’s on the menu.
—————————–
Breakfast options: baked goods from freezer, fruit, hard boiled eggs, yogurt, avocado, leftovers

S (prep lunch, cook beans, church?)
  B – egg muffin, sausage, raisins (me), pumpkin pancakes (from freezer) (Justin)
  L – 7 layer dinner in cp (w/ potatoes, carrots, peppers, zucchini, beans and peas)
  D – chips w/ salsa, avocado dip and sour cream, cheese crips, strawberry milkshakes, pineapple

M (prep dinner, Dr. S.)
  B – hard boiled egg, fruit (me), breakfast cookies, fruit (Justin)
  D – crockpot pea soup w/ ham, sd bread

T (Meijer)
  B – hard boiled egg, fruit (me), yogurt, granola, fruit (Justin)
  D – sausage links, roasted asparagus, avocado, applesauce souffle

W (Justin dentist, co-op, make nut butter bread, put away laundry)
  B – sausage, egg yolk, applesauce souffle (me), strawberry bread, pineapple (Justin) 
  D – enchilada bake, corn, applesauce,  (from freezer) (Justin), leftover pea soup (me)

Th (roast beets, make mayo)
  B – hard boiled egg, sugar snap peas (me) strawberry bread, fruit (Justin)
  D – salmon cakes, roasted beets, grilled zucchini, applesauce souffle

F (boil/peel eggs, clean, laundry)
  B – hard boiled egg, applesauce souffle (me), granola/puffed rice w/ milk (Justin)
  D – roasted chicken legs, potatoes and veggies

S (wedding reception)
  B – salmon cakes, avocado (me), TBD (Justin)
  L – at wedding
  D – leftover enchilada bake (Justin), eggs or salmon cakes (me)

Egg Muffins (grain free, GAPS-legal)

Not much action in the kitchen these days. But I do still have to make dinner every night. Last night I just threw something together that turned out well. I had read about other people doing muffins with eggs. But I don’t think I ever actually read any of the recipes. So I didn’t have any quantities, etc. And I was really rushed making dinner. So I just threw a few ingredients together and baked it. Turned out great!!! Little muffins that are mostly just egg. You can add anything to them. I just added cooked breakfast sausage (thankfully I had prepped that earlier in the day) and a little shredded cheese. They could be dairy free without the cheese. You could add any kind of veggie too. This isn’t much of a recipe, but I’m posting it to remind myself when I need something quick for breakfast, lunch or dinner. And leftovers are great too! Eat them cold or warmed. A great thing for a busy mom of a newborn to have on hand 🙂  All 3 of us really liked these. And that’s saying a lot. Rebecca can be pretty picky when it comes to eggs. And she loved them.

This post is linked to Grain Free Tuesdays at Hella Delicious.

Egg Muffins
(makes 9 muffins)

6 pastured eggs
1/2 lb. cooked breakfast sausage
1/4 cup shredded cheese (optional)
chopped veggies (optional)

Beat eggs. Add remaining ingredients. Pour into greased muffin pan (I greased it with palm shortening…came out very easily). Bake at 400 degrees for about 20 minutes.

Life With 2…Honest Musings of a Mom

Motherhood – it’s something I’ve dreamed of since I was very young. I got a Cabbage Patch doll for my 5th birthday and knew from that moment that more than anything I wanted to be a mother. I loved having someone to take care of, someone that needed me. Fast forward 23 years and that dream became a reality when my daughter was born (April of 2008). I can’t say it was an easy adjustment, but I still loved it. And there were no extra demands or pressures with just one baby. We figured out routines and what worked for us. And at 3 years old we’ve got a pretty good routine going for Rebecca. And now here we are adding baby #2 to the mix. I thought I knew what to expect…I’ve done this before, right? Well, not so much. After having to leave my precious little girl with others for a few days and coming home to a whole new, sometimes overwhelming, world I’ve done some thinking/reflecting. Just thought I’d share…for me to get it out and for any other new moms that may be struggling. Please excuse my scattered thoughts 😛

The biggest surprise for me was my instant connection with Abram and my disconnect with Rebecca. I know it sounds awful. And I continually feel guilty about it. Rebecca is my first born. She is so precious to me. I love her more than words can say. But giving her my undivided attention at all times, then having to leave her for over 3 days (I’ve never been away from her for more than a few hours), then coming home to a whole new environment really caught me off guard. There are a couple big factors. First, I rarely have one-on-one time with her at the moment. So it’s hard to focus on just her. Two, I can’t pick her up. And I can’t even have her sit on my lap often because someone else is there 😛  So the lack of physical connection is a huge thing. And finally I have to be disciplining more than encouraging it seems. I have to constantly remind her to be gentle with the baby. And she acts out more because she’s adjusting too and isn’t sure how to express her feelings. So we’re all adjusting to this big change and trying to figure it out. At first I was very overwhelmed and anxious by these feelings. But each day it gets better. Why? I know this is just a phase. Abram won’t always need so much of my attention. And Rebecca will soon be able to play with him instead of having to “leave him alone.” I’m making more effort each day to interact with Rebecca as much as possible and tell her how special she is/how much I love her. I make a point of giving her plenty of hugs and kisses, even if I can’t pick her up/snuggle with her often. I also try to be sure I am the one that gets her up in the morning, puts her down for nap, takes her to bed, feeds her, etc…keep her normal routine with Mommy. Even if Abram has to be involved. The initial change really caught me off guard. But we’re figuring out our new situation. My love for Rebecca hasn’t changed one bit. I just have to figure out how to split my time now and figure out how we all interact with a new, needy member. Of course the other important thing is prayer and trusting God to see us through the trying moments. I am very intentional every day to tell her God made her, God loves her and that she is so special, one of a kind. There is nobody else like her. She grins from ear to ear when we tell her 🙂

I mentioned it before, but my instant connection with Abram really surprised me. Up until he was born I wondered how I could love another child the way I love Rebecca. But I guess I shouldn’t have worried about that. I love him more than anything and can hardly take my eyes off him. I can’t imagine life without him. And I would do anything for him. It’s true what they say, you don’t have to share your love when you have more kids…your love just doubles! No complaints there.

There are a few things that are different this time around…related to me and my current health status. When Rebecca was born I was still very unhealthy (both physically and mentally). My OCD was still undiagnosed and pretty out of control. So when she was born and my life was turned upside down my anxiety went through the roof. By 3 weeks old I had her on a pretty strict schedule of eating, etc. so that I could maintain my schedule/routines. And when she didn’t “cooperate” it was very tough on me. Looking back I’m amazed I was able to stick with breastfeeding through it all. I also was not nourishing my body. I was just concerned about exercising and losing all the weight. I ended up losing it all and then some. I dropped below 100 lbs. And ate all low fat/fat free food. Plus I exercised a ton. Again, I’m amazed I was able to keep breastfeeding her through it all. At least one of us was nourished 😛  So, on to baby #2. I’m so thankful that things are much different this time. Anyone that reads my blog knows my health status is much improved. I now eat to nourish my body, not to be skinny. I also have a much better handle on my OCD. So here’s a little update on all of that/how it relates to my kids.

Nursing…I’m starting out nursing on demand…and don’t have any set plans for getting on a schedule. I think that one will naturally form in the coming weeks. And I do want to have somewhat of a schedule…makes life easier for the whole family. But not the same way I did with Rebecca. She ate every 3 hours. If she was hungry before the 3 hour interval was up I hardly dared feed her. I didn’t want to be off schedule! So this time around I don’t have any expectations. We’re just taking it one day at a time. Abram will figure out a schedule when he’s ready. And we’ll all learn together. It’s much healthier for him and for me. Being on a strict schedule in a way made my anxiety worse.

My physical health is also much different. I have been in the process of healing my body for some time now. And I think that just doing full GAPS has already made a big impact. I now eat to nourish my body. I focus on what I need, not what I can’t/shouldn’t have. I also eat to nourish Abram. I know what I eat impacts what he gets. And that is so important. My first time around I wanted to lose the baby weight as quickly as possible. This time I’m being much more relaxed about it. I’ve already lost close to 30 lbs. without trying. And the rest will come off in time. Yes, I still have a belly. And that’s fine. He stretched me out pretty far…and I have a large incision in my abdomen. It will take time. And may never be what it once was. And that’s ok. My 2 miracles are much more important than flat abs. I’m more concerned about healing and nourishing than I am about fitting into my old clothes in 2 weeks 😛

Both my physical and mental health are wrapped up in my OCD. I’ve been battling it for many years. At the beginning of the year I said I wanted to conquer it this year. And laid out some steps. They helped. But pregnancy kept me from making a ton of progress. But now that Abram is here I’m wondering if he might just be my miracle baby…for more than one reason. I’m using his birth as a new starting point. Trying to let go of routines/compulsions/expectations/etc. In the hospital I couldn’t dictate my daily schedule. And I did just fine. Since I’ve been home I have not done my usual compulsions, etc. I’m trying to take the day as it comes. Nursing on demand is helping with that. I have to be available for Abram whenever he needs me. He’s forcing my exposure 🙂  In some ways my OCD seems silly to me. I’ve wasted so much time and energy…worrying about my bowels?? I want it to end. I want to live. So I’m doing my best to battle my mind every day. To forget old habits. To not worry if one day is different or better/worse than another. My body knows what it’s doing. I don’t have to force anything. Just let it be. Thankfully overall my digestion has been pretty good since giving birth. Hopefully it will continue as I continue on GAPS. And hopefully each day will get easier. I know I still think about it a lot (the obsession), but I’m trying to let it go and not act on it (the compulsion). The less I do the compulsion, the less I’ll have the obsession. When I look at Abram’s precious little face I am more determined than ever to let go my old ways and start living free of OCD. It usually takes a total life change to force me to make change. And hopefully this was the one that will do it for me.

That being said, I do have the opposite issue. I have a 3 year old. And as most people know young kids thrive on routine. They know what to expect. They have less anxiety. We have a great routine with Rebecca…meals, naps, bed, etc. And in between those scheduled items is unscheduled/free time. Her world has been turned upside down with a new baby. So I want to at least give her the predictability of her normal routine. So I’m doing my best to balance her daily routine with Abram’s current lack of routine. It’s tough sometimes to nurse, feed her, read books, etc. all at the same time. But it’s worth it for her sake. Soon enough we’ll all have a routine. For now we are doing what we can to maintain hers.

In the first few days at home my emotions were all over. Sometimes I was so happy. And other times I was so overwhelmed. The first full day at home I was sitting with Justin, Rebecca and Abram. And I almost broke down. I wondered how am I ever going to do this? How will I reconnect with Rebecca? How will I keep up with things around the house? How will I maintain my own sanity? There’s no turning back now…but can I do it? Thankfully these moments don’t last too long. And when I’m in a better state of mind I can think about things logically. Here are my thoughts on that.

First, I have no relaxation techniques right now! That’s the toughest part for me. Normally when I’m stressed/anxious I exercise, cook or clean. Right now I can’t really do any of them. I don’t have the time or the physical ability. So when things seem overwhelming or cause me anxiety…I just have to deal with them. And that’s tough. Especially with hormone fluctuations from birth and breastfeeding. But…all in good time.

I also constantly remind myself that each step in this process of raising kids is just a phase…it will not last forever. And even though it may be a tough phase I need to embrace it and enjoy it while it lasts. Soon I’ll look back and miss it. I’m trying to soak up every moment of the newborn phase. I know it’s gone so quickly. And who knows if we’ll ever get to experience it again. Even this phase of Rebecca’s adjustment is something to embrace. She seems to be growing so quickly. I need to enjoy her still being my little girl while I can.

One thing that I have a hard time with but am trying to get better at is learning to let things go. So, the bathrooms don’t get clean for a couple weeks. Or the laundry doesn’t get put away immediately. Or the toys are a little more scattered than usual. It’s ok. All in good time. Soon enough I’ll have the time and energy to deal with those things. For now my focus is on my kids and getting us settled.

Obviously I love to be in my kitchen…cooking, baking, whatever. But right now I just don’t have the time. I’m lucky if I have 2 minutes to make myself lunch let alone bake. Although it’s sad, again, my focus is on other things. So keeping meals simple and flexible has been key. It’s also good to make things Justin can help with if need be.

I’m finding that getting out of the house is a big help. Even if it’s just to take a little walk and get some fresh air. I’m thankful that I feel good enough to do that kind of stuff one week after a c-section. We’ve already taken a couple family walks around the neighborhood and to the library. And tonight we’ll be going to Kindermusik family night. Our first real outing.

Finally a very important part of my day and how I get by is prayer. I know that God will guide me through the tough times. When my anxiety suddenly spikes and I wonder how I’m going to manage I say a prayer and give it to God.

And just a few other tips that seemed to work well for me – prep ahead and don’t jump right into cloth diapering. Before Abram was born I cleaned the whole house very well. I made quite a few freezer meals for us. I had everything organized for my parents and my in-laws for while I was in the hospital. It really made the process easier. And it’s nice to know on crazy days I can just reach into the freezer and pull out a healthy meal. My plan is to use cloth diapers with Abram. And I am very excited about it. But I also know that in the first few weeks I don’t have extra time for laundry and for learning new stuff. So I decided before hand that I would hold off on cloth diapers until we were more settled…and the wet/dirty diapers didn’t happen every half hour 😛  We’re ok with using disposable for a few weeks. We’ll still have a couple years of cloth diapering after that 🙂

This post ended up pretty long. And I’m sure I didn’t even say everything I’m thinking. It’s hard to get it all out of my head. Hopefully I at least gave an idea of some of the struggles and joys of bringing a new baby home…at least the ones I’ve experienced. Sometimes you feel like you are on cloud 9. Other times you want to run and hide. But in the end it’s an amazing journey filled with lots of love and God’s guidance. It’s a chance for change and growth in ways you never thought possible. It truly is a miracle and a blessing to be a mother. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. All moms struggle. We all get overwhelmed. And that’s ok. Just take it one day at a time and trust that God will lead you through it.

Meal Plans Week of 5-15-11

Good morning. Never mind the rain and lack of sleep. At least I’m enjoying some breafast while my favorite little guy enjoys his 🙂  Hard to believe how much has changed since I posted last Sunday! This could be a really long post (lots of stuff to ramble about) or really short (ummm…I have an upredictable newborn:).

Let’s see. Last week was a bit crazy of course. Abram was born on Monday morning. I came home Thursday morning. We’re still adjusting and settling…taking things one step at a time. Sleep is not something I’m too familiar with at the moment 😛  But at least I’ve been able to get naps in when both kids sleep. We had quite a few family members visit last week. And we were even able to take a family walk/go to a garage sale. It sure felt good to get outside. I’m actually quite amazed at how good I feel. I have to remind myself that I just had surgery/not to overdo/not to lift Rebecca 😛  Since coming home I’ve only had a few Tylenol for pain…and even those were just to be sure I didn’t let things get painful. Not too bad.

This week…the same as the weeks to come…take things as they come. All of our regular activities are done. And we have no schedule at the moment. So not much planning can be done (tough on an OCD/type A person!). Only a couple things on the agenda. Today Justin and Rebecca will go to church. I’m looking forward to having a little quiet time with Abram and to hopefully get a few things done! Wednesday Justin goes back to work. Scary 😛 Wednesday evening is our Kindermusik family night. I’m actually very excited to go to that…and get out of the house! I’ll have to send Justin to Harvest Health some day this week for milk.

Meals this week are all a little tentative. We have a few meals from my family. And I know that so far someone will be bringing a meal on Tuesday. No word on meals beyond that…I know more will come, just not sure when. And of course most meals are things I can’t eat…so I have alternatives for myself. And meals I make are things I can prep any time of day…when I have a few free minutes. I generally can’t cook at dinner time since Abram is usually eating. Breakfasts are not planned. For me it’s usually what I can grab with one hand. And for Justin it’s whatever takes no prep. So I’ll just list some options. Maybe I’ll have to make a big batch of smoothie for myself. It’s always nice to have something to just grab out of the fridge that is very nutritious.

Some to-dos on my list this week…order birth announcements, actually finalize our beef/pork order, schedule Abram’s baptism, maybe do some online Father’s Day shopping and clean up a few things as I’m able (I feel like a tornado went through our house with gifts, baby stuff, etc.).

On the health front…as much as I am able I’m trying to focus on proper nutrition for recovery and breastfeeding. Abram seems to have 2 long hollow legs sometimes 😛  So I know I need to eat enough. I feel like I went from full rosy cheeks last Sunday to a pale thinned out face this Sunday (of course surgery, blood loss, etc. don’t help either, but still). I need to be sure I don’t do what I did last time and be undernourished and lose too much weight (was under 100 lbs. while nursing Rebecca!). Thankfully my swelling has finally started to go down. My legs look normal to about half way between my ankle and knee. The rest of the way plus my feet are still bad. But making goood progress each day. My goal is to drink, drink, drink! Drinking water will help the swelling go down faster. Plus it helps with nursing too…that sure dehydrates you! I’m also thankful that my tummy is a little more tolerant again. It sure is nice not to have a big baby crowding everything and crazy hormones pumping. I’m still focusing on eating full GAPS. My struggle is with having quick, easy things to eat when I don’t have time for food prep. Anyone have any good suggestions for prep ahead snacks, lunches, etc.? I’m trying not to go overboard with nuts, but they are the easiest thing so far. I still eat raw egg yolks with as much as I can but often don’t have 2 free hands to crack an egg with 😛  Maybe I’ll have to prep small bowls w/ egg yolks so I can just add things to them as needed. And maybe I’ll make some hard boiled eggs to have on hand. I have tried my sauerkraut again the last couple days. Can’t say I noticed any major reactions to it this time. So that’s good. And I’ve eaten a few raw veggies.

No exercise yet. I’ll give my body a couple weeks of recovery first. And then try to figure out how to squeeze in a little exercise each day. Really looking forward to that since it’s my main source of stress/anxiety relief.

I think I’ll save my other thoughts/challenges on life with 2 kids for a separate post…when I have more time. I will say that I’m doing my best to battle the OCD and use this as a new start…trying not to fall back into old routines/habits and just take each day/moment as it comes. So far it’s going well for the most part.

And finally, it looks like we may be getting new neighbors soon! We’ll be so so so sad to have our neighbors move. Rebecca LOVES playing with Eva. But we wish them the best of luck.

And just because…a few pics 🙂

Ok, on the menu.
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Breakfast options:
avocado w/ egg yolk and cheese
eggs – scrambled, fried, hard boiled
misc. baked goods from freezer
toast
fruit
smoothies
yogurt/kefir
egg casserole

S (church, put away laundry)
  B – yogurt w/ nuts and raisins (me), yogurt, granola, fruit (Justin)
  L – black bean soup, corn muffins
  D – ham pizza (from freezer) (Justin), leftover egg salmon casserole (me)

M (library)
  B – yogurt/egg yolk, nuts, raisins (me), homemade cherry bars, pineapple (Justin)
  L – leftover egg salmon casserole (me), leftover black bean soup, corn muffins (Justin)
  D – round bone roast in cp w/ veggies

T (boil eggs, clean bathrooms)
  B – oatmeal muffins, fruit (Justin), egg casserole (me)
  L – leftover pizza (Justin), egg salad, avocado, cheese (me)
  D – someone bringing meal

W (Justin back to work, boil eggs, KM family night)
  B – hard boiled egg, pear (me), sourdough toast, fruit (Justin)
  D – early/light – leftover beef and veggies

Th (laundry)
  B – hard boiled egg, pear (me), granola bar, fruit (Justin)
  D – grilled hamburgers, grilled asparagus, carrot sticks, avocado, fruit

F ()
  B – hard boiled egg, fruit (me), muffins, fruit (Justin)
  D – sausage egg veggie muffins

S ()
  B – hard boiled egg, fruit (me), sourdough toast, fruit (Justin) 
  D – leftover hamburgers, peas