I’ve got a post floating around in my head. It started while I was in church this morning. So I want to write it right away before I forget. So I’m doing it. And I’m going to do it as quickly as possible…because I’ve got things to do. So here goes. No re-reading. No thinking. I’m just going to do it.

Both in Bible study and in some other devotions recently the topic of being a “doer of the word” came up. And it struck a cord with me.

I am usually a task oriented person. I love to make lists, stay organized, get things done, do things in advance. When I was in school I never put off homework. I did it as soon as possible. I like to stay on top of things.

But lately I have a to-do list that keeps growing and growing. I add to the list. But don’t take much off. I get anxious thinking about the things I need to do, that I’m constantly thinking about. But then when I have a few minutes I don’t do anything. I look at Facebook. I watch tv. I browse blogs. Anything that doesn’t require me to think or do. Any activity that I can do while being “off.”

With my decline in health in the last couple years I have become less and less of me. I try to keep my head above water and do the absolute necessities. But I just haven’t had the energy or focus to keep up at my normal pace. And I don’t like it.

I get overwhelmed easily. I’m mentally and physically drained by the end of the day. I feel like I just can’t do it.

Over the last couple months Justin will often remind of things on the to-do list…and remind me again…and again. I tell him I’ll get to it when I can. And I get annoyed. But I bet he is even more annoyed. Not at me. But by the lack of me…the lack of the me he knows.

He and I are a lot alike. That’s a big part of why we fell in love 🙂  We both like to take action and stay on top of things. So when I can’t seem to keep up, he notices.

I’ve also noticed in the last couple years that when I go to church I do just that…just go. I have a hard time focusing on the message. I don’t retain any information. And I certainly don’t act on it. I just go through the motions…sing, listen, then go about my usual life. Then I go to Bible study and do the same. I sit there and listen to everyone discuss and answer questions. And my mind seems blank. Like I can’t form any kind of response or participate in the discussion.

But as I rest and heal that is all slowly changing. I feel myself returning. The real me. The person that wants to participate. The person that has energy to do things. The person that sees a to-do list and says let’s get things done.

A week ago we had our Friday night Bible study. And I finally felt like I could participate. I had something to contribute. I could think clearly. And after the study part I could socialize and be fully present instead of thinking about health issues or anything else. And wouldn’t you know it we talked a lot about taking action that night. I’m thankful I could listen and that God was speaking to me.

Someone talked about taking action as soon as the spirit lays something on your heart. Which is why I decided to write this post right now instead of waiting and thinking and debating. I’m just doing it.

Then in church this morning the pastor also talked about seeking God and following him. One of the songs mentioned using our intellect for God’s purpose.

That is the other area that I’ve struggled with for a long time. I’m smart 🙂  I was always in the top of my class. I have a degree in computer and electrical engineering. I designed missile release systems for military planes for 6 years. God has given me intelligence. But what am I doing with it? Not much lately. I don’t pay attention to the news or what is going on in the world. I don’t take time to learn new things or challenge myself.

I just let life fly by. I do what I have to. But I’m not fully engaged. And I want that to change. I want to do. I want to participate in life. I want to challenge myself and my spouse and kids to be better people and doers of God’s Word.

This won’t happen over night. But I am thankful that slowly but surely I am able to heal my mind and body and come out of the fog I’ve been in for so long. I can actively take steps to serve God and be in his Word and in prayer daily.

Just today I decided to start having a family character of the week. I’ll put it on the fridge, and the whole family can participate. Rebecca chose for us to work on self control this week. It’s definitely something we can all work on right now.

I am also trying to become more involved in church and push myself to make friends. I’m very introverted by nature. But I’m trying to step outside my comfort zone, say yes to activities I might have shied away from before and be more social.

So there it is. The thoughts in my head that I took the time to write out instead of just thinking about them all day. I’m sure there are more. But I’m not thinking about it. I’m just doing.

I did it. I will do it. Praise God that I am healing and He can more fully use me.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got things to get done!

First full week of March. This is shaping up to be a very busy month, especially next week. So I’m going to try to get done what I can this week in preparation.

Aside from the usual activities this week I have a psychologist appointment. I’m hoping to make it to the health food store and the library (something fun for the kids). Justin has an orchestra concert and is going to a hockey game this week. And Rebecca and I are getting hair cuts (our Mommy daughter date for the month). Rebecca also has a field trip and playdate this week.

Our sick boy snuggling with “baby” and “blanket.”

Last week Abram was sick, which wore me out 😛  And caused a bit of a setback in my healing. When my kids are sick my anxiety goes way up. Especially when the littlest is sick. I just can’t relax. I’m a mom…what can I say? 😛  Plus some non-ideal food choices (looks like avocado is out for now) caused a flair of my symptoms. But hopefully this week I can get back on track. I skipped my morning workout and slept an extra hour every day last week! I know I’m still not getting as much rest as I need, but it’s a good start.

Stuck at home…having a little fun with a pants swap 🙂

I’m still getting in the kitchen and experimenting when I can. This week should be no exception. I’ve been avoiding fermented foods for a while now because I thought I wasn’t tolerating them well. I want to continue the healing process with my gut, so I’m going to try some again. Today I’d like to make fermented punch and sauerkraut. We’ll see how it goes.

I also am hoping to make a modified version of buster bars for my birthday treat (next week!). So I want to make some gluten free chocolate cookies to use for the crumb layer on the bottom. I’ll be making various baked goods for breakfasts, snacks and to go with dinners.

Rebecca made her own grocery list last week and picked out some fruits and vegetables to try. So this week I have to incorporate leeks and red onion in our meals 🙂  We’ll be doing onion rings today. I haven’t decided on the leeks yet. She also chose purple cabbage. I’ll use some to make sauerkraut. Not sure about the rest. Maybe I’ll saute cabbage and leeks together. I hope she likes them.

I have most of the meals planned out. I’ll be filling in a few breakfasts and lunches as the week goes on.

This week I want to try my yoga DVD at least once. And possibly my kettle bell DVD. I also have to work on my RFH articles. And I have a product review and giveaway that I’m very excited about! I just have to find the time to write it 🙂

Here’s what’s on the menu. What’s on your menu this week? What fun are you having in the kitchen?
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S (prep lunch, make whey, church, concert, make punch, make sauerkraut, prep smoothies) D2
  B – bagel w/ cream cheese, fruit (Justin), teff and rice granola bars, beets, snap peas (Mary)
  L – cp pork tenderloin, potatoes, onions and carrots (peas for Mary)
  D – leftover quiche, applesauce, baked onion rings (family),  pear cranberry, coconut milk rice pudding (Mary)

M (soak flour, milk, PS) D3
  B – smoothie, date scone (Justin), amaranth tapioca chocolate bar, pumpkin (Mary)
  L – salmon, zucchini, chocolate bar
  D – turkey summer sausage, crackers, cheese, peas, chips w/ dip, watermelon (family), pumpkin, zucchini, salmon (Mary)

T (make oatmeal banana muffins, KM) D4
  B – lemon blueberry yogurt, date scone (Justin), ice cream, snap peas (Mary)
  L – tuna, squash, sour cream w/ blueberries
  D – squash soup (w/ turkey broth), coconut flour squash scones (Mary), soaked oatmeal banana muffins (family)

W (make gf oreos, HH, PS – field trip/playdate) D1
  B – smoothie, oatmeal banana muffins (Justin), chicken, broccoli (Mary)
  L – lentils, cauliflower, oreo
  D – chicken nuggets w/ honey mustard, roasted brussels sprouts and cauliflower, fries

Th (bake cake, Dr. M., Dr. V.) D2
  B – bagel w/ cream cheese, banana yogurt (Justin), white rice scone, snap peas, beets (Mary)
  L – white rice pancake w/ syrup, snap peas
  D – (prep ahead) – baked white fish, potato wedges, beans

F (bake cupcakes, library, PS, hockey game) D3
  B – banana chocolate chip yogurt, granola bar (Justin), amaranth tapicoa bar, pumpkin (Mary)
  L – goat milk yogurt w/ blueberries and soaked gf graham crackers
  D – (Justin eating at the game) – salmon cakes, pumpkin, zucchini (me), broccoli (kids)

S (bake cupcakes, swimming) D4
  B – (Justin), (Mary)
  L – crackers, cheese, sausage, fruit, veg (family), sour cream, fruit, veg (Mary)
  D – sweet and sour meatballs over squash (Mary)/rice (family), corn, fruit
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D1: chicken, dry beans (pinto, navy, white, fava, mung), lentils; quinoa; broccoli, kale, sweet potatoes, brussels sprouts, cauliflower; blueberry, raspberry, date; coconut oil, carob, cane sugar, mint tea

D2: white fish, pork; white rice, teff; green bean, lettuce, peas, beets; pear, cranberry; lard, cinnamon, maple syrup, coconut milk

D3: turkey, salmon; amaranth, tapioca; asparagus, pumpkin; palm shortening, coconut water, goat’s milk yogurt

D4: tuna, beef, raw cream, sour cream; wheat, coconut flour; cucumber, squash, zucchini; coconut, avocado, grapes; EVOO, butter, ghee, tallow; cocoa, raw milk, green tea, honey

snacks: D1blueberry, raspberry, date; D2 crumble; D3 TBD w/ palm shortening, tapioca flour or amaranth and pumpkin ; D4 ice cream, soaked graham crackers, raisins, frozen grapes

March…really? It feels more like January here. Still cold, cold, cold with some snow, ice and rain mixed in. Hopefully if March is coming in like a lion it will go out like a lamb 🙂

I can’t say I’ve thought too much about my goals yet. The last few days I’ve had to kind of put everything on hold to take care of Abram. That being said, my main goal for this month is rest and relaxation 🙂  If that’s possible with two busy little kids. And this month is actually quite busy. But I’m going to do my best. Here’s what’s on the list.

1. Writing – Write my GRNL article. Research creating a newsletter. Write my May/June RFH articles and brainstorm July/August topics (if I can think that far ahead :).

2. Photography – start reading my photography book and implement one new method/tool.

3. Healing – I will continue to get extra rest when I can. I will continue to make sure I get enough calories and keep my body temp up. I will not exercise much. I will try my new yoga DVD for exercise/relaxation. I will eat gluten free. I will continue a rotational diet. I might rearrange my menus so that I have some different food combinations this month than I did last month.

4. Homemade Food – I will continue to experiment with gluten free baking and trying to make snacks my kids enjoy. I made some gluten free pretzel sticks a few days ago, but I have to make them another time or two to perfect the recipe. My first attempt couldn’t have been too bad, though…Rebecca kept stealing them from me 😉

5. Relationships – I will be going to a conference mid-month with my mom, sister and sister-in-law. I’m very excited to have some girl time. We have a church small group game night. And we might try to set up skype dates with my brother-in-law and niece so the kids can get to know each other better.

6. Rebecca – We are working on making new behavior/daily routine charts. Hopefully we can finish them in the next day or two. Hopefully she will be excited about implementing them. Rewards are very effective for her 🙂

Rebecca created her own American Girl Game

7. Crafts – I will be planning stuff for Rebecca’s birthday party. She’s having an arts and crafts party! Perfect for my little crafter.

8. Cakes – I will be making some kind of dessert for my own birthday. I thought about doing pie or creating some kind of gluten free cake. But Rebecca came up with a better idea for me yesterday…a revised version of buster bars that is gluten and egg free! I will be finalizing the design for Rebecca’s cake and working on designing Abram’s cake (Mickey Mouse).

9. Declutter – Organize Abram’s closet

10. Acceptance – I am working on acceptance of family members. I am also working on acceptance of my current health status. I may not look or feel exactly the way I want to. But I have to accept where I’m at and hope for better things to come. I’m keeping the end goal in mind…a healthy, strong mind and body that God can use. That helps me through the daily struggles. I know God has a plan and a purpose for me. I know he wants more for me.

I will also continue to read Bittersweet.

11. Service – This is a new one for the month. Even though I need to take it easy and get plenty of rest I also want to use my gifts to serve others. I am going to start helping with the nursery committee at church. I can use my experience, knowledge and organizational skills. And hopefully get to know some people better.

Somehow February just flew by. I felt like I couldn’t keep up with all of my work, let alone extras. My body is going through lots of changes and adjustments that aren’t always easy to tolerate. Things have been a bit crazy at home, and Abram has decided to never sleep in again (I hope that’s not really true, but it feels like it)…giving me hardly any time to get on the computer. And we’re ending the month with a bang – Abram is sick again. So back onto antibiotics today 🙁  I hope he perks up so I don’t have to hold him the entire day. My arms and back are already killing me from yesterday. So I did what I could. Here’s how the month went.

1. Writing –  I managed to write my GRNL February article. And I have my topics for my RFH articles. I just need to find the time to actually write them 😛  No work on the newsletter yet.

2. Photography – I did not have time to look at my book.

3. Healing – I am getting used to my rotational diet. And I’m having fun experimenting again. Overall I’ve seen a reduction in my food intolerance reactions. So I must be doing something right/the rotational diet must be helping.

On the down side I’ve had some days of being super cold lately and have had an increase in my low metabolism/adrenal fatigue symptoms. I’m more tired than usual. My body temps are going back down. I’m cold all the time. And digestion is awful. So I’m trying to figure out how to remedy that. I probably need some kind of combination of the following – more sleep, more food, less exercise, less fluid. That happened last week. I think it was due to major stress. I do recover fairly quickly from these episodes. But it’s still frustrating. I’m trying to sleep more and exercise less. That does seem to help. Temps are flirting with 98 again.

I am keeping a spreadsheet of my daily meals and symptoms. I need to go over it now to see if I find any consistent food/reaction combinations. I did learn that I don’t tolerate quinoa or sweet potatoes. I’m still not sure about dates, avocados, beef broth and chicken broth. I have also confirmed that I don’t tolerate much fiber. I’m still debating about wheat and dairy. At the moment I think the verdict is that I can tolerate some dairy. But I think I’m going to be totally gluten free for a bit to see if that helps.

On a positive note…I am DONE WITH MIRALAX…FOREVER! I’ve been off of it for four weeks exactly now. And I don’t intend to ever take it again. I can’t say that things are perfect now. But I don’t care. I’m not putting that chemical back into my body again.

I have started all of my supplements. It’s kind of a pain to take so many pills each day. But I just keep telling myself this is temporary until my body is back to where it needs to be.

There have been plenty of ups and downs. And I’m still learning. But on the whole I’ve seen improvement. Even in the last few days of getting just a little extra sleep and a little less exercise I can see a big change in my energy levels. It’s so nice to have the energy to really play with my kids – dancing, jumping, etc. And it’s so nice to not feel like I just ate a balloon after each meal.  I can eat…and still feel normal/not have my belly bloat up. A true miracle.

4. Homemade Food – I made quite a few gluten free baked goods for myself to help keep my carb intake up while not reaching for wheat. I’m enjoying this new experiment…and the delicious results 🙂  Soaked gluten free graham crackers are in the dehydrator right now. I’m soooo excited! And looking at my link list I realize just how much experimenting I did this month!

5. Relationships – We had a lot of fun celebrating my nephew’s birthday, going to Sleeping Beauty with my mom, going to a hockey game and going to Bible study.

6. Rebecca – We continue to do our best encouraging her and trying to focus on her strengths. And we understand her personality and struggles better each day as well.

7. Crafts – ummmm…not a spare second for this.

8. Cakes – I made a soccer cake for my nephew. I have a preliminary sketch of Rebecca’s cake. I have yet to start sketching Abram’s Mickey Mouse cake. I have a little time for that.

9. Declutter – nope…didn’t work on Abram’s closet either.

10. Acceptance – I have been working on accepting others and myself. It’s a work in progress, but at least I’m making progress.

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LINKS

I always love posts that tell the truth about saturated fat and cholesterol. No, they don’t cause heart disease.

Here are some other main stream dietary myths.

Even cats know the truth about butter 🙂

A great post on how to dye Easter eggs naturally.

Great information on vitamin K2, why we need it and how to get it (one of the reasons I refuse to cut butter out of my diet 🙂
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And my own posts from the month in case you missed any:

Gluten Free Amaranth Tapioca Chocolate Bars

Teff and Rice Granola Bars

Pumpkin Pot Pie with Soaked Amaranth Crust

My journey to find the “perfect” diet

Soaked Garbanzo Flour Carob Scones

Raw cheesecake

Sweet Potato Lentil Soup

White Rice Pancakes

Beautiful Babis preoder…there is still time!!!

Candy bar ice cream (a personal favorite)

Crunchy Crumble (this is awesome sprinkled in yogurt – cow’s milk, goat’s milk or coconut milk)

Single Serving Simple Pot Pie

Chocolate Chip Scones (I still LOVE these…I’m glad I still have a few in the freezer)